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Women's Date Disasters 6/30/2007
Now Time for the Girls Date disasters.
He farts!
He Fuckin stinks!
His underwear has racing stripes!
He Loves Garlic!
He shows up in a Hyundai Pony!
He forgets his wallet!
He wears a polyester suit!
His cock is too small!
His cock is too big! (I know, no such thing)
He has a dump and doesn't flush! ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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It Happens! 6/25/2007
Things Can Happen! Things like this:
She smells sweet, nice perfume. That's up there, down
there it's like a fish market.
You, with many oral talents, almost have her there, then
she rips a gassy, smelly FART!
You are in the most passionate of sex and you have cramps,
then the trots!
The starts to lick your asshole and nuts!
I saw it, don't want to ...
3 Comments, 110 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Do I Cum or Move the Dog 6/24/2007
Oh My, ..First date, well first time we jump in the sack and
we were doing just great. Till the "dog". He
burst through the door and and hopped the bed with ease and
made a b-line for my asshole and her pussy. With a tongue
that makes me envious he covers our nether parts with long
lashes of the famous tongue.Well so much for the first time.
Since then there have been lotsa times. The always ...
3 Comments, 229 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Adult Gamer Part one 6/12/2007
Game Adults Play Part one
When three four couples get together at someone's
place to have some fun in the weekends, routine sex and swapping
becomes somewhat monotonous. You become used to the body
and a sexual preference of other person's wife or husband
and just having sex with someone other's wife or husband
looses its charm. So introducing some novelty is must.
Therefore you can ...
3 Comments, 170 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
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The rules from the male side 6/10/2007
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male
side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON
PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.
1. ...
3 Comments, 216 Views,
19 Votes
,6.55 Score
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English Translations 6/7/2007
Women's English: -----------------
1 Yes = No 2 No = Yes 3 Maybe = No 4 I'm sorry = You'll be sorry 5 We need = I want 6 It's your decision = The correct decision should
be obvious by now 7 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later 8 We need to talk = I need to complain 9 Sure go ahead = I don't want you to 10 I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
11 You're so manly ...
2 Comments, 88 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Words of wisdom on the concept of marriage! 6/2/2007
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and
wish you were dead. ********** At a cocktail party, one women said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ********** A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband
Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letter's.
They all said the same ...
4 Comments, 212 Views,
16 Votes
,4.01 Score
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Pre Relationship Agreement! 4/12/2007
P R E - R E L A T I O N S H I P A G R E E M E N T On this _____day of ______, 2007, the party of the first
part___________________________ (herein referred
to as "She"), being of sound mind and pretty
good body, agrees to the following with the party of the
second part _________________________(herein referred
to as "He"): I. 1. FULL DISCLOSURE 1.1 At the commencement of said relationship ...
5 Comments, 255 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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New Tax for 2007... 4/8/2007
New 2007 Tax
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around.
Unemployed 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it
is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole.
On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2007, the penis will now
be taxed ...
0 Comments, 56 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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finding friends on Swapfinder.com 4/3/2007
i don't know if it's just me
but i always thought it weird to see friends on sites like
Swapfinder.com...but the other day i skimmed across
a picture that was really familiar and lo and behold it was
a friend of mine trying to have some fun on the web... i messaged
her and she was appalled that i found her on here. after talking
on the phone we agreed to get together and ...
1 Comments, 173 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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Meet You in Heaven 3/14/2007
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her -- "Hello"
"How are you! We've been waiting for you!"
"Good ...
2 Comments, 208 Views,
9 Votes
,5.99 Score
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I WISH 2/17/2007
A FAT MAN FINDS A LAMP. HIS 3 WIAHES R 2 B SKINNY, WHITE, &
SURRONDED BY PUSSY.THE GENIE SAID *POOF* AND TURNED HIS
ASS INTO A TAMPON....
3 Comments, 244 Views,
12 Votes
,2.09 Score
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what is the real definition of a booty call? 2/3/2007
To me it is a one time thing...but what happens when it is
a recurring thing?
1 Comments, 109 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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Just a funny thing that happened to me. 1/10/2007
My boyfriend and I were having sex one night at my place and
I was on top. It was going real good when all of a sudden he
was like oh shit get off and pushed me, well I fell off the
bed and started cracking up, and he yelled... I look up,
and his jizz flew into his mouth... that's why he yelled
and shit. It was just a funny experience I thought I could
share.
3 Comments, 537 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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condoms safe ?? 1/8/2007
Condoms are not as safe as people seem
to think.
My mate had a condom on and he
got hit by a bus !!...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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My wifes new car 1/8/2007
My wife dont like the new car i just got her for christmas
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She says she wants something that goes fr 0 - 160 in 3 seconds
So Ime buying the fat cunt some bathroon scales
1 Comments, 161 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Cock Tales 1/2/2007
Sheila was laying on the sofa with a cool damp cloth covering
her eyes when the phone rang. It was her friend, Jim, calling
to see how her afternoon was going. "Hey Baby, How
are you?", he shouted. Jim always shouted. He was
bouncy and exuberant and was the perfect person to sell
real estate to wealthy yuppies, which is what he did during
the day. At night, he sang three times a week with a ...
4 Comments, 436 Views,
18 Votes
,5.44 Score
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ARE YOU OBSESSED? 12/31/2006
ARE YOU OBSESSED?
Ever since Eve convinced Adam that it was better "her
way, " certain women have had an extraordinary power
over men. Samson allowed his mighty strength to wane for
a flirtatious Delilah, Mark Anthony risked the wrath of
Caesar and all of Rome for Cleopatra's attention,
and who could forget that, it was for the love of Guenevere
that the perfect friendship ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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crazy stuff 12/18/2006
hey there i had a exgrilfreind that said here botfreind
use a a potato on her that crazy
0 Comments, 142 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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Don't you just love it when... 12/17/2006
your lady friend keeps queefing so much that eventually
she starts laughing!!!!
It's a real trip, that pussy gets so much exercise that
it doesn't know if the dick is coming or going!
All the time I'm stuffing more and more air into it!
Fun times!
2 Comments, 135 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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She Called Me "The Doodler" 12/17/2006
I had a college girlfriend who was the most orgasmic squirter
I've ever seen. At the same time, I could shoot a load
four or five feet as well.
Eventually I was named, "The Doodler"!
0 Comments, 56 Views,
1 Votes
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What guys think 12/10/2006
I keep seeing this post flying around about all the nice
guys left in the world. The post seems sweet and all. Sounds
like there are some girls out there who seem to really appreciate
the nice guys of the world…but C'MON!!!
Most of these thought aren't even finished…
Now don't go thinking I am Jaded or anything…I prefer
to think of it as I am a realist. Reality is, ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
0 Votes
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Blazing Vaginas 12/5/2006
I remember it like it was yesterday....
My wife (Mrs. 30somethings) and I were enjoying "The
company of others" in front of a very enthusiastic
audience. The young lady I was with, was very receptive
to my advances (She was buns up kneelin' and I was a wheelin'
and a dealin')
During the course of the thrusting I pulled just a little
too far out and low and ...
1 Comments, 307 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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Men and Fragrances 11/28/2006
What's up with men being obsessed with fruity type
fragrances on a woman. I know that like to keep a nice size
collection of body oils and sprays. My regular oils, my
man doesn't notice most of them except for maybe a couple,
but all the ones that smell sort of "fruity"
or "citrusy", almost as soon as I walk in a room,
he gets a whiff and wants to instantly "jump my bones"!
That is so ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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HOTEL FUNNNN 11/27/2006
My husband and I went on a little outing recently. We decided
to set up our first 3-some with another man.. So off we go
to the big city, we made hotel registrations at one of the
top hotels, we check in and decided to get all decked out
to go on our date which was our first 3-some date... so we
went out and waited for our 3rd party to show after no such
luck "we were stood up" we walked ...
6 Comments, 461 Views,
24 Votes
,5.74 Score
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Choice... 11/23/2006
You chose to give a woman pleasure.
The woman would not leave your mind.
She haunted your dreams.
She came into your thoughts.
You came back to take another look.
To see if she was as sweet as you remembered.
She was.
She gave you a moment of pleasure.
She made her desires known.
She opened her arms for your embrace.
Her lips welcomed your kisses.
Her tongue danced with ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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why is a bride always smiling 11/16/2006
Q; why is a bride always smiling as she walks down the aisle?
A; she knows she doesn't have to give anymore blowjobs
2 Comments, 162 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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future 11/16/2006
Q; how do you know your man is thinking about your futue?
A; he asks you to buy him 2 cases of beer instead of one.
0 Comments, 59 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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I"m going to jump out the window... 10/27/2006
Man o man...relationships
are enough to make a person want to jump out the window...The
stress and work to keep it together and the energy to keep
the "knife" in the drawer. I'm not byass
to I have to say for both sexes that we can really get on each
others nerves. I'm pretty sure we have all had those
days in which we wish we were single and free ha..but i tell ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Near Drowning Experience 10/23/2006
If youve ever given a squirter / gusher oral while under
her you know what Im bout to say.
Once, and just once bout 3 years back I was giving oral to
this one incredibly slim girl, had to be 130 lb with A-Cups
and a certain level of kinkyness for tongues...
Well I was going down on her while she positioned herself
on my face, and after the first or second time she ...
4 Comments, 256 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
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Complete Off!!! 10/23/2006
Ever had one of those relationships that seems like you
couldnt be anymore apart from eachother, but personality
wise or appearance wise your linked in a way you cant really
describe?
Ive seen so many people that I have attractions with that
dont seem to fit the bill so to speak and its starting to get
weird... Normally I like people that are generally tall,
creative, and ...
0 Comments, 46 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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Bending over backwards 10/23/2006
It seems my life is full of humorous events, one such that
is kinda funny to hear is my experience with a Judo instructor.
I had just gotten out of a relationship with one of my best
friends, who now is married to my other best friend a little
ackward but to each his or her own I guess. Well here I am single
again for about a year, and my ex-girlfriend hooks me up
with this girl she met at ...
0 Comments, 71 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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"First Time Sex" with "First Wife" 10/20/2006
This happened when I was dating my first wife. In Beaumont,
Tx back in the sixties (before and after) people would go
"parking" in the boonies. The boonies were
secluded areas off some of the country roads where oil drilling
had been done and a wellhead was put in place. There were
ideal places to be "alone" because they were
a graveled cul-du-sac so you could turn around and didn't
get ...
1 Comments, 254 Views,
10 Votes
,5.18 Score
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50 THINGS GIRLS WISH GUYS KNEW... 10/18/2006
1. dont tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
3. if you dont act like soap-opera guys, dont expect us to
dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. there is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. we think about you all the time.
7. this is how we see it . . . Don't ...
4 Comments, 533 Views,
43 Votes
,6.64 Score
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In the rain 10/17/2006
I few years ago I had a girl friend that her favorite place
to have sex was in the rain. She loved the rain. After we were
done she would run around naked in it and get off again. Has
anyone else experienced this?
0 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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women.. 10/13/2006
guys...
hit it..
what level of age of women do you guys love to have sex with?
1 Comments, 96 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Having to pee really bad during sex 10/11/2006
Don't you just hate it when you could be lying in bed
asleep, or just coming home after a hard day at work, or your
man/woman is just being spontaneous at the time? He/She
decides that they want a sample. Then all of a sudden it hits
you that you haven't been to the bathroom in a few hours
and natures calling, but the sex is so good that you don't
want to stop! Has this ever happened to ...
2 Comments, 199 Views,
12 Votes
,4.57 Score
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Our first date that ended in us getting thrown out of the mall 10/10/2006
A little over a year ago my fiancee and i had our first real
date. At the time i was staying with friends with a
in the house i couldnt take him back there for us to fool around
so we went to the mall parking lot and thought we were secluded
enough that no one would notice us. At the time neither of
us thought of the time either. Right in the middle of me giving
him a bj a mall security ...
0 Comments, 174 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Accidental Anal! 10/6/2006
Has anyone (women) ever been accidently rammed in the ass
while having fast hot and hard sex?
10 Comments, 566 Views,
20 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Found in the Classified Ads... 10/2/2006
Recently found in the Classified ads:
Post Date: Aug 7th, 2006
Expire Date: Sept 6th, 2006
Asking Price: $10, 000
Comments/Description:
06' Suzuki GSXR 1000 - This bike is perfect! It has 1000
miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive)
It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been
on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. ...
2 Comments, 200 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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The Things That Make Me Feel Good 9/25/2006
1.Falling/Being in love.
2.Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3.A hot shower.
4.No lines at the supermarket.
5.A special glance.
6.Getting mail.
7.Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8.Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
9.Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10.Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11.Chocolate milkshake... (or vanilla... or strawberry!)
12.A bubble ...
1 Comments, 76 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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When a girl misses you... 9/25/2006
When you break a girls heart,
she still feels it when
you run into eachother 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she ...
0 Comments, 90 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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When a guy misses you... 9/25/2006
When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few
minutes,
he means it
When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders
if you do?
...
1 Comments, 96 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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the in law's thanks 9/18/2006
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's
face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was too skinny.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable
would have to come from his buttocks. The husband ...
2 Comments, 356 Views,
17 Votes
,5.53 Score
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Ten commandments( of marriage) 9/16/2006
The Ten Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder
and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 ...
1 Comments, 251 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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the perfect match ? 9/16/2006
A person visited the matchmaker agency SDU for marriage,
and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help
me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your
requirements, please." "Oh, good looking,
polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing
and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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mis trust 9/16/2006
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships.
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship.
Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates
anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
See the follwing stories to understand more
-----------------------------------------
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a
phone ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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Pick-up Lines 9/4/2006
You know those cheesy pick-up lines that have mixed results?
Well, lets share a few of them. Post your lamest/coolest/best
pick-up lines here for all to read. Perhaps you can help
some guy *cough* get a little success 
I would post one, but all I can think of at the moment are the
stereotypical overused ones...
0 Comments, 209 Views,
9 Votes
,1.29 Score
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its great to laugh 9/4/2006
theres nothing like a relation where you can be serious
and have a good sence of humor to it makes things great and
can be very relaxing
0 Comments, 25 Views,
1 Votes
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good or bad 8/29/2006
is it more fun to be good at being bad, as well as being bad
at being good,
0 Comments, 13 Views,
0 Votes
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First date 8/25/2006
How I Entertain a New Date:
I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone
the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her
something she's never had before" for dinner.
After
many minutes of scratching my head over what to make,
I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY
never eaten. I got out my trusty case of MRE's (Meal,
Ready-to-Eat). Field rations that ...
2 Comments, 131 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
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When I Close My Eyes.. 8/17/2006
Crimson angles and delicate wings
take me for a ride threw my mystical dreams.
Over the rivers of moonlight gazes,
Dancing fairies covet the fields of angelic daisies.
On top of the mountains with sand of gold.
Raindrops from Jupiter a mirror effect.
Follow the footsteps from the enchanted moon goddess.
Listen to the harps and mellow relaxing wind chimes.
Forever lost in a peace of ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
0 Votes
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what it do 8/14/2006
hay i can say im a pretty nice girl, i havent meet any for-real
people on here.im just lookin to hook up with a few bad bitchz, an
some big dick men, that know how to put it down on a horny
ass black girl.is that really 2 much 2 ask 4??aint tis what
this place is 4.
1 Comments, 132 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score
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The Closet 8/14/2006
I've put My slave in the closet for the afternoon while
I take My nap. W/we've had O/our dinner and he's
cleaned up.
I had him affix a set of wooden sitting stocks to the wall
of said closet at a height that causes him to have to sit cross-legged
with his arms resting on his elbows to be comfortable. I
covered his head with a full, vinyl, hot horsehead mask
with breathing ...
0 Comments, 55 Views,
0 Votes
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King David the Jolly and Princess Tiffani 8/12/2006
The Zoo.
A King David and Princess Tiffani story,
There exists a myth, a twisted moral tale, all but lost in
the mists of time. A thousand years ago, The moon was waning
as the day began. It was spring. An a warm snap had made its
presence known to all. King David the Jolly decided to take
Princess Tiffani to the zoo. ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
|
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SuperMan 8/5/2006
women should understand that man need love beside sex....
can't be your Superman who give afuck only
bitches, they come they go....love stays onlyyy
0 Comments, 106 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Good Bars 8/4/2006
A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They
are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice
place.
Then the Scotsman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but
where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better
one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another
drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!'
The others agree that sounds like a good ...
0 Comments, 229 Views,
13 Votes
,5.83 Score
|
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Relationship Humor 7/26/2006
Relationship humor is important because who
wants somebody who is dull and listless.I might think the
wrong things about that person.So keeping humor in the
relationship
really is the best way to build a lasting
foundation. Plus if you get the opposite sex
to laugh at something you did or said is the
first step any way, in my book.Communication
is the key.
0 Comments, 130 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
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It pays to be yourself 7/25/2006
Most women are attracted to men who are not
nice.Know why?Because they are really themselves.Thats
why I took me so long to
get with a woman.I was 16 when I lost mine
but at least I waited.Most of my friends were
fathers at 16.Anyway my point is to be yourself and act a
fool if you have to but dont get arrested.Lets face it women
have a
strong hold even if her well you know what ...
0 Comments, 164 Views,
0 Votes
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masturbation 7/20/2006
is it bad to think a bout other women when having sex
0 Comments, 317 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
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A joke 7/9/2006
What combination of three two letter words means small?
"Is it in"
0 Comments, 707 Views,
14 Votes
,4.10 Score
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I'm a virgin and I don't know 6/29/2006
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you
know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me
first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will
call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the
prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the ...
2 Comments, 847 Views,
40 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
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I want a girl who ... 6/5/2006
I want a girl who doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit,
but does know the meaning of most other words.
I want a woman who understands spontaneous passion, can
thrill to dizzy sudden sex (while keeping her balance),
and who understands that we probably would not be allowed
to shop at that grocery store ever again. (“Mommy, why is
that woman snorting like a rhino?” ...
2 Comments, 376 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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sexual fantasies of women 5/31/2006
It shouldn't be surprising that women have fantasies
too. Sometimes, they are more sexual than ours. In this
article we will discuss the top ten fantasies that women
have. You will want to print this one out for future reference.
Here we go, please pay attention!
Having sex with strangers: This might sound odd, but women
fantasize about this as well. Having sex with a complete ...
1 Comments, 462 Views,
11 Votes
,3.35 Score
|
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So many Chatty Kathy's 5/24/2006
Everytime I think I meet someone on-line that is going to
have amazing sex with me, they just want to talk dirty with
instant messanger. Don't get me wrong, I've loved
it all, but want some real sex.
0 Comments, 59 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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PARTYTIME 5/24/2006
I thought for my first party i'd get an even number of
both sexes together with your own thoughts and fettishes,
as well as sexual needs. The erotic side of it is that there
could be a lot of people who are meeting for the first time,
or there could be small groups of people turning up together.So
on the 10th of June, (a saturday) we will have this get together
and see what happens. I now ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
0 Votes
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|
You just don't know what I will do to you.... 5/11/2006
You have a cute______. You make me _______. You should _______.
Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now
I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you.
I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could
sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________
under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________.
Love,
...
0 Comments, 62 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
|
|
My truck got some action 5/9/2006
I walked to the grocery store yesterday hoping to stretch
my legs instead of driving there. I come back about 3 hours
later to find that my next-door neighbor is sitting in my
truck, inside my garage, with the gear shifter up her pussy.
I almost died fucking laughing at that point, except that
she then bent over and asked for it up the ass... what a great
day.
0 Comments, 178 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
|
|
MAIS UMA DO JOAOZINHO II 4/27/2006
O Joãozinho entra no quarto e pega o pai colocando uma camisinha
> Muito embaraçado, o pai tenta esconder a ereção e a
camisinha, e vai se
> abaixando na cama.
> Joãozinho diz: O que você está fazendo, papai?
> O pai responde: Eu acho que eu vi um rato embaixo da cama.
> Joãozinho retruca: E o que você vai fazer, comer o cu
dele?
MULEQUE NAO MOLE
0 Comments, 48 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
GIMME BACK MY CHI!!! 4/12/2006
C stayed with me last night. He got up early as usual to head
off to work. I never felt him get out of bed, so I looked at
him funny when he came to kiss me goodbye trying to figure
out why he was dressed. I got out of bed about an hour after
he left, went online for a few hours to sort out files, cleaned
up just a little (didn't have to much motivation in
this department today) and then ...
2 Comments, 347 Views,
19 Votes
,2.20 Score
|
|
Relationship Humor 3/26/2006
To me there is nothing better than when you and your partner
have the same sense of humor. It makes conversations alot
easier, so there's no awkward silence, and when you
do something stupid, you both can just laugh about it. I'm
sure we've all came across something during our sex
lives that you thought was funny, but didn't want to
laugh because you were afraid to embarass your partner. ...
0 Comments, 492 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
LOVE 3/23/2006
If love is a flower, let it grow
if love is a tree, let me know
if love is a forrest, taking over the world
take me in your branches, away from here
take me to somewhere love doesnt exist
0 Comments, 33 Views,
3 Votes
|
|
I Am Hung 3/16/2006
One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair,
drinking beer and watching my woman mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged
at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should
be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am.
That’s why she cuts the grass".
3 Comments, 626 Views,
29 Votes
,4.64 Score
|
|
Fantasy Lover - First Date 3/16/2006
My Fantasy Lover/First date
I want to come home and find you in my bedroom, with a sexy
nightie on. Despite the fact that I never gave you a key and
the place was well locked up.
You were on Oprah’s show about Sex maniacs and had over 80
clicks on your belt, I knew then that you’re the girl for
me. You have recently stalked a man or currently stalking
one now, ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
if she say's no 3/12/2006
guy's if you meet a female and all she want's to
do is give head and she won't let you fuck or touch her
pussy then you might wanna run because this female really
might be a male.
2 Comments, 155 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
|
|
My girlfriend's sister 3/10/2006
Someone told me this story and I want to share with you. This
guy is a friend of a friend of mine.
I was engaged and have already planned a marriage with my
girlfriend. Her family seems to welcome me, especially
her younger sister. When my girlfriend is not looking,
she always come close to me, hug me and rub her breast against
my arm. I thought she was just kidding but I ...
1 Comments, 688 Views,
29 Votes
,6.75 Score
|
|
penis size 2/28/2006
This is the age old question about which matters more...size
or use? which do y'all think is more true? Does a bigger
penis automatically mean better sex? or does it all depend
on "attack" style?
9 Comments, 713 Views,
19 Votes
,2.99 Score
|
|
flame that burns forever 2/19/2006
I belive the key point in a relationship is humor and sex.
You have to be able to take a joke.Taking every word seriously
makes not only you but the other person miserable. With
that said however there is a line that shouldnt be crossed,
which you only learn through trial and error.A helpful
technique to use around other people when your partner
pisses you off, is to respond with something ...
0 Comments, 157 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
|
|
What Is Love? 2/19/2006
What Is Love?
Softly spread from heart to heart,
With expressions of devotion.
Voiced with strong feeling and
Tremendous emotion.
Although it requires little time to reveal,
This process can take long to heal.
These impressions can often accidentally
Be taken, wounding one's heart because mistaken.
Because of the strength of attraction and care,
Freedom is sacrificed for the ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
Marriage and Sex 2/16/2006
There was this couple who have been married for 20 years
now...And every time they went to have sex....The husband
would shut off the lights before engagaing in sex with her...One
night while having sex...The husband did his normal thing
and shut off the lights before starting...Half way through
the session, the wife quickly turned on the lights to find
her husband using a dildo instead of ...
0 Comments, 404 Views,
12 Votes
,4.39 Score
|
|
Tips for a Happy Relationship...... 2/15/2006
Borrowed from the late, great Red Skelton.
<br>
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage, share good food and companionship. She goes
on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
<br>
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California
and mine is in New York.
<br>
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
back.
...
2 Comments, 154 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
why men wont commit??? 2/15/2006
maybe because...they cant get sex w/out commitment, they
can get the benifits of having wife by just cohabiting.
10 Comments, 376 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score
|
|
the pussy fart 2/13/2006
there is nothing more humorous to me than a woman who queefs
after sex....it is kind of erotic because it means the pussy
is really wet, but the sounds is just too much to take....lol
3 Comments, 320 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
|
|
Sex With My Ex 2/13/2006
My wife moved out and is living at her dad's. He lives
about sixty miles south west of me, in H.B., Ca. During
the week, I talk to her every day or two on the phone, cause
we have a 9 yr. old girl together. We just split up a little
over a month ago so, It's just passing that devastation
feeling.
Whenever I try to talk her into coming out here she trips
but, she always comes. The 2nd ...
0 Comments, 206 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
You Can't Be Serious 2/8/2006
Alright, while I am definitely not "as good as I once
was", I am most certainly "as good once as I ever
was".
<br>
Hell, I'm 45 years old, spent 14 years as a professional
athlete and now bear the scars of one of Dr. Frankenstien's
creations however, I do what I can to kep myself in shape
and stay relatively "marketable" to the fairer
sex.
<br>
My question, simply put, ...
0 Comments, 152 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
WORDS WOMEN USE AND WHAT THEY MEAN 2/3/2006
WORDS WOMEN USE AND WHAT THEY MEAN
<br>
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
<br>
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes
is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.
<br>
NOTHING
This is the ...
0 Comments, 258 Views,
11 Votes
,5.78 Score
|
|
Girls Vs. Grown Women 1/31/2006
Girls Vs. Grown Women
<br>
1.GIRLS leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy
to call and make plans.
GROWN WOMEN make their own plans and nicely tell the guy
to get in where he fits in.
<br>
2.GIRLS want to control the man in their life.
GROWN WOMEN know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't
need controlling.
<br>
3.GIRLS check you for not calling them. ...
0 Comments, 166 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
|
|
My Brother Does 1/30/2006
One of the best real life stories I ever heard goes back to
my college days. Some guys I knew had been out drinking and
they were heading back to the university on the bus. They
got off a couple of stops too early and were following a young
woman who was probably heading home after work. Said young
woman was very easy on the eyes and they were slightly drunk.
One of them yelled out to ...
0 Comments, 408 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
|
|
mating 1/27/2006
Some species mate for life. Wolves, eagles, penguins,
and other species... once mated will never take another
mate. Humans however, will not only take another after
mating, but will take another during, before and after
mating originally.
<br>
Why succumb to the socially accepted norm??
6 Comments, 283 Views,
15 Votes
,3.59 Score
|
|
Humorous beginners guide to Swapfinder.com 1/17/2006
Troll… group name for the fakers, timewasters, wannabes,
and stalkers, those needing a life and those pretending
to have one. The desperados, self professed greats and
great pretenders, the masqueraders and misbehavers.
The picture collectors and traders. Those that email everyone
and those that email one person over and over and over and
over and over and over… In most cases ...
1 Comments, 356 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
|
|
Philofecies 1/15/2006
I lick girls' rumps. I like to lick girls' rumps.
Girls like to have their rumps licked. Most girls won't
admit they've had their rump licked, let alone enjoyed
having their rump licked. But believe you me, if you lick
a girl's rump, she'll love you for life. In fact,
that was my high school yearbook quote.
<br>
My conviction to 'slurping the brown pucker'
doesn't stem from ...
2 Comments, 209 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............ 1/13/2006
WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............
<br>
1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE OR CELL PHONE
IS.
<br>
2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING
OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY
THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
<br>
3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S
ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
...
4 Comments, 536 Views,
31 Votes
,6.50 Score
|
|
my boyfriends 1/9/2006
The first date I had with my boyfriend, he told me he had never
had a blow job before. Apparently I couldn't see through
that. Now we've been together 2 years, and although
he's not like that anymore, it still cracks me up how
I fell for that line. It may not have been his first, but two
years later, it was obviously his best!
2 Comments, 1271 Views,
39 Votes
,5.03 Score
|
|
This is for the girls 1/6/2006
This is for the girls who understand that they aren't
perfect and neither are the guys they're interested
in.. This is for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and
obsess over the slightest glance, whisper or touch because
somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe,
just maybe this time he'll have understood.. This
is a homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are ...
3 Comments, 290 Views,
16 Votes
,6.21 Score
|
|
The Conception of an Obsession 1/1/2006
It happened in a cornfield near Wichita Kansas. She was
a tall, skinny long legged brunette, a little flat chested…
but I never was turned no by big boobs. Dark eyes a cutie nose
and always a big smile.
<br>
One mid summer afternoon we went for a drive in the country
in my Oldsmobile 69… I mean 98, Freudian slip there. She
had her hair tied back and was wearing a ...
0 Comments, 350 Views,
10 Votes
,1.99 Score
|
|
for love 12/22/2005
from the whole body
0 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
|
|
smiles 12/18/2005
when on a blind date is it cool to make a fool at of one self
so to make your date smile?
0 Comments, 105 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
Losing my mind 12/17/2005
Being an older man, I find that the little blue pill helps
me a lot. Without it I usually lose it after about 15 minutes,
with it I can usually last an hour or more.
<br>
One day I forgot to take the pill before sex with my wife.
After a less than satisfactory episode I discovered I had
not taken it and told her. Her reply:
<br>
Good - it means only your mind is ...
0 Comments, 309 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
|
|
Blind Date Blunder... 12/11/2005
A friend and I were out one evening in a pub... (we're
both male) shortly upon arrival, he confessed as to why
we were there, that is, it was no accident...
<br>
No, he had arranged a blind date for the two of us - knowing
I would have probably refused to attend otherwise. All
things considered, we were already there.
<br>
We positioned ourselves near the door, so as to ...
1 Comments, 289 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
|
|
Little Lesson in Oral 12/7/2005
A long time ago, when I was young, dumb, and well..not full
of cum (as I'm female), but rather lusty in my ways~
I learned a valuable lesson. I was only 16, and my parents
had went to Garmisch for a vacation when we lived in Germany.
I, of course, decided to have a party and invite all of my
friends, including my then boyfriend and a few hot guys
I enjoyed flirting with. One of these guys ...
4 Comments, 873 Views,
46 Votes
,4.74 Score
|
|
I had that chance. Her name was Rachel. 12/5/2005
She lay back on her bed. Rachel's sexiness was all engrossing.
Her olive skin covered her limbs like the yellows, greens
and tans of Van Gough Dandelion ‒ symbiotic in his shades.
<br>
Rachel was truly the sexiest woman that men had ever seen.
She was a striking ‒ the kind one writes ballots about.
<br>
I was touched by her essence, which shone brilliantly ...
3 Comments, 324 Views,
18 Votes
,2.17 Score
|
|
A Cold Nose 11/26/2005
Max was my dachshund, I spoiled that dog. I let him sleep
on the bed he used to like to cuddle up.
<br>
I started dating a new guy, Max was a little suspicious of
my new beau, but was reasonably friendly.
<br>
The first time we had sex at my place we were in my bed. Max
was asleep in the frontroom in his basket by the TV.
The sex was hot and focused and at one point he ...
1 Comments, 805 Views,
36 Votes
,5.48 Score
|
|
One that should have been on top 10 list 11/17/2005
I was reading the article "10 Things You Don't
Want To Hear During Sex" and just had to let everyone
know what our #1 would be. I have what you could call a warped
sense of humor. Luckily, over the years my husband has come
to expect just about anything from me. Once during sex,
I was on top riding him and his hard-on disappeared.Me,
being me, spontaneously bursts into laughter, roll off, ...
3 Comments, 649 Views,
28 Votes
,4.06 Score
|
|
Swapfinder.com 11/15/2005
Swapfinder.com ---- thats the joke ha
1 Comments, 475 Views,
10 Votes
,1.00 Score
|
|
Should I use a condom in my sexual fantasies? 11/13/2005
This is all true.
<br>
Obviously, most people decide it's wise to use a condom
for sex outside monogamous relationships. And I agree
with this. However, should I also use condoms for sexual
fantasies that take place only in my own head?
<br>
On the face of it, it's a damn stupid question, because
there's no chance of STD infection OR pregnancy from
a sexual fantasy. So ...
6 Comments, 455 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
|
|
ART OF KISSING 11/10/2005
Kissing Is An Art
<br>
Butterfly Kiss:
With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your
eyelids
against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering
sensation
will match the one in your heart.
<br>
Cheek Kiss:
A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often
the preferred kissing
method of a first date. With your hands on your partner`s
shoulders,
...
0 Comments, 115 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
Your Sex Sign Reading ... 11/8/2005
Aquarius
<br>
Jan 21 - Feb 19
Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists
and turns
<br>
Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when
a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more
an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks
aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship,
it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns ...
1 Comments, 269 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
|
|
satisfied never 11/5/2005
you know when I saw the handle I was hopeful. but I must of
misinterpreted it he's not the one never satisfied.
you are. Love the broad chest and the beautiful faced just
make sure you have your dildo and lots of batteries. I speak
from experience. One lost soul
1 Comments, 209 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Would you join a group... 10/31/2005
Dear Swapfinder.com members;
<br>
How many of you would be willing to join a discussion group,
where the membership requirements are. That you must be
willing to go with a current group member or the group’s
moderator, for free and anonymous HIV testing (say within
thirty 30 days from joining the group) and share your test
results with each other to prove that you are both HIV ...
2 Comments, 364 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
|
|
Normal Shrinkage and other things? 10/20/2005
Things I sometimes wonder about....
If you cook meat it shrinks. So heat causes shrinkage. Yes?
Yet some guys claim cold water causes "ahem"
shrinkage!
Why do they call it a blow job? I don't consider it a job
(it's fun), and I don't think I've
ever blown on one!
Why is the person in the next car always seem to be either
combing their hair, picking their ...
0 Comments, 369 Views,
21 Votes
,5.35 Score
|
|
Blind Date Ditch 10/19/2005
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
Blind dates are just plain scary, but it gets a lot worse
when you meet them and discover they are far from even the
most meager of hopes you had for them to be what you wanted.
Here's some tips on how to get rid of them, fast!
<br>
Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date ...
0 Comments, 214 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
the balls 10/18/2005
is it just me or do we not want to have anything to do with the
balls??lol really though. Some can be stinky just like
pussies...and they just sit there so why bother?? I know
i get right in there and do what i can to please my man but it
can become bothersome...no?
2 Comments, 218 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
|
|
Emails back and forth at work.... 10/7/2005
Dear Sam,
I am writing to you from work, where I am getting nothing
done.
I want to suck you off.
It's all I can think about and I am totally distracted.
I just want to bury my head in your lap, smell your intoxicating
smell, and lick, suck & swallow all of you.
I love to do it, and you know it.
I want to hear you moan and beg for more. I love that, too.
I have nothing ...
0 Comments, 478 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
|
|
Boyscout Rule Applies 9/20/2005
After being informed by a new girlfriend that she had a difficult
time cumming, I agreed to incorporate her vibrator into
our lovemaking.
<br>
Things seemed to work well, I felt a bit sidelined sometimes
by the buzz of the mechanical penis, but soon embraced the
idea and enjoyed myself and her. She was getting pretty
excited, as I asked and tried out what she instructed. Just ...
0 Comments, 263 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
I told you so! 9/18/2005
This is a story about a girl I met while working my way through
college. In bed with her for the first time, she explained
that it was very difficult for her to cum. I wasn't about
to let anything get in the way of what was about to happen,
so I said with confidence that I could make her cum through
oral sex.
<br>
Skeptically, she consensented and I was determined to
back up my ...
0 Comments, 221 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
A sailor walked into a bar with a small.... 9/14/2005
A sailor walked into a bar with a small head.
The bartender asked what happened.
<br>
The sailor said, "My boat sank. I was adrift for 3 days
when I saw a mermaid." <br>
She said, "I will grant you three wishes."
<br>
The sailor continued, "I wished there was a boat and
suddenly I heard 'toot toot' for there was a boat
on the horizon. Then I wished I looked ...
0 Comments, 537 Views,
10 Votes
,1.79 Score
|
|
"The Bellhop Twist" 9/13/2005
Preface:
<br>
I recently met the most incredible woman on Swapfinder.com. Somehow
she enticed me into sharing my fantasy with her. Then after
writing several emails to each other “The Bellhop Twist”
emerged. This fantasy stuff is so much unlike me. In a million
years I would have never thought that building a fantasy
story with someone could be so intellectually and sexually ...
0 Comments, 127 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
"The Bellhop Twist" 9/13/2005
Preface:
<br>
I recently met the most incredible woman on Swapfinder.com. Somehow
she enticed me into sharing my fantasy with her. Then after
writing several emails to each other “The Bellhop Twist”
emerged. This fantasy stuff is so much unlike me. In a million
years I would have never thought that building a fantasy
story with someone could be so intellectually and sexually ...
0 Comments, 272 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
A game anyone can play!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9/12/2005
Many people that read stories on this site no doubt end up
getting turned on and end up having a sexual encounter of
some type. Some people will be lucky and have someone around
to help out and some will end up having to masturbate.
<br>
Masturbation is one of those things that everyone does
(or just about everyone) but no one talks about. The chat
lines on the internet are one way ...
0 Comments, 267 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
|
|
interfaith relationship 9/8/2005
Webster's dictionary defines 'interfaith'
as "involving persons of different religious faiths."
Based on this definition, most people associate the word
'interfaith' with couples consisting of members
of two completely different religions, for example, a
Muslim and a Buddhist. 'Interfaith, ' however,
also refers to several other categories of couples.
Couples whose ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
|
|
arousal 9/8/2005
Many people may suppose that the question of the title is
a stupid one, given that the answer is so obvious: women
have breasts for feeding babies. In fact, the question
is a good one, because it is a mystery why the vast majority
of women has breasts. Most women are, at this moment, not
lactating, and yet they have breasts. If breasts were merely
for feeding babies, then ...
0 Comments, 547 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
|
|
arousal 9/8/2005
Many people may suppose that the question of the title is
a stupid one, given that the answer is so obvious: women
have breasts for feeding babies. In fact, the question
is a good one, because it is a mystery why the vast majority
of women has breasts. Most women are, at this moment, not
lactating, and yet they have breasts. If breasts were merely
for feeding babies, then ...
1 Comments, 227 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
Bartender's Guide 9/7/2005
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!
<br>
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could
nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed
separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
<br>
*Drink: Beer, Personality: Casual, low-maintenance;
down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a ...
3 Comments, 467 Views,
18 Votes
,4.63 Score
|
|
When sex is funny...its more fun 8/31/2005
We all want sex to be fun, of course, but how about funny?
This may seem like a demented concept, but laughter makes
us feel better, and what better confidence booster than
to be able to laugh with your partner comfortably when you
are sitting there naked as jay birds. Laughter is healthy,
and sex is healthy, so why shouldn't the two go together.
I remeber one time a girlfriend and I were ...
1 Comments, 131 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
laughing 8/24/2005
humour is the key to a good relationship to be able to leugh
together and at each other is quite refreshing
2 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
I dont know if I'm good at giving men Blow Jobs 8/24/2005
How do you know? I have only been with a few men in my life...
Dont get me wrong... I love to give head! I just dont know
if I am any good at it. I never really asked if I was any good
at it. I was always told it's not nice to talk with your
mouth full. I mean they cum quite quickly most of the time.
They just dont scream "Yeah Baby, Yeah just like that!"
I guess I am just wondering if ...
9 Comments, 496 Views,
20 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
This is just a little joke you can share with whomever!!! 8/22/2005
One night there were this boy and girl on their way home from
prom. The boy was driving along when all of a sudden the girl
looked at him and said "I want to have sex."
<br>
So the boy pulls over the car, gets out his condom and they
do their thing. When they were finished he threw the condom
out the window. A few seconds later the girl looks at him
and says "I want to have sex ...
1 Comments, 381 Views,
16 Votes
,1.07 Score
|
|
safe sex, horny wanna fuck 2 men all night& more? 8/20/2005
We havent had sex all week, because were on over time at work.
Im also tierd because were together 24/7. We went to see
louise faricon last tuesday, or wensday. I went to learn
his muslim culture, to learn the man , Im with daily. I WAS
surprised to see a women who wears little clothes, due to
hotness, temuter wise. Liked the womens muslim gowns,
Im trying to bond to everything. He takes ...
0 Comments, 334 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
0 To 200 In 4 Seconds 8/13/2005
The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for
weeks.
He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like
car so she
could zip through traffic around town.
<br>
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck,
but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price
range.
<br>
"Look !" she said. I want something that goes
from 0 to ...
0 Comments, 290 Views,
24 Votes
,5.40 Score
|
|
My latest brush with true love 8/6/2005
So I’m going at it like a Drunken Viking. I’ve got a hand on
the back of her head, not too hard but still pushing her face
to pillow. I’m tagging bottom with every thrust and digging
it. She likes it rough and this is about as rough as I can give
it.
Knock, knock.
I grab a bottle of personal lube and squirt some down the
crack of her ass, and start working it in ...
0 Comments, 365 Views,
15 Votes
,2.98 Score
|
|
Radio call gone bad 8/5/2005
A friend sent me an audio clip a couple of years ago. It is
supposedly a real radio station practical joke.
<br>
A radio station would call a person's friend/loved
one and play a practical joke on the person. One day a man
asked them to play a joke on his wife.
<br>
The show hosts called the woman and told her that they were
calling from where he worked, and that he had ...
0 Comments, 224 Views,
18 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
Have a favorite song to fuck to? 7/10/2005
Got a favorite song that you love to 'get it on'
or 'fool around' to? If so, what is it? Peace out.
5 Comments, 261 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
|
|
A Blind Date By Any Other Name.... 7/8/2005
"...'Lo" I answered the phone in my usual
lackadaisical manner. I already knew it would be my beautiful
but scolding .
<br>
"Mom, is that any way to answer a phone? Why do you sound
so …listless?" My scolded. Listless? Okay…listless
is much easier to spell than lackadaisical.
<br>
"I'm sorry, Dear but there just doesn't
seem to be anything worth answering ...
2 Comments, 261 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
The nite our found our handcuffs...lol 7/7/2005
The and I had gone to my moms for a couple of weeks in the
summer for a mini vaction...well when we got back my hubby
missed me so much he decided tonite he was gonna handcuff
me to the bed and make up for the last 2weeks...In the morning
we all got up...my hubby and I were getting ready for work
when my oldest (8 at the time) came in the bathroom
and said "mommy, why are there handcuffs ...
1 Comments, 910 Views,
28 Votes
,4.68 Score
|
|
The Wedding Test 7/6/2005
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend; she was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was
her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was
twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut
blouses. She would regularly bend down when ...
0 Comments, 515 Views,
25 Votes
,7.34 Score
|
|
Excuses!! 7/6/2005
Anyone out there ever have to come up with a stupid excuse
to explain to your what they have found in your room?
We did once. When our was about 6 he found the chains with
velcro hand-cuffs bolted to the inside frame of our bed,
after asking what they were there for my husband was flustered
and caught of guard, so for a quick response he told him it
was used for handles when moving the ...
0 Comments, 180 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
|
|
Love is a funny thing 7/3/2005
We all do silly and strange things too thoes that we love
the most. We offten hurt each other with out realising just
what we have done wrong.Is is humman nature or are we just
ignorant to our own stuppidity ..I think it's all the
above and we seem to like doing what we do..So why not have
a lil fun while we're here I say !!!
1 Comments, 107 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
|
|
"the bf's " 7/3/2005
My boyfriend and I live together. He has an eleven year old
that doesnt. Sounds simple enough heh? Well it's
not!!!! One of the weekends he had her, we were in our bedroom,
thinking she was asleep and began to fool around...with
the door closed of course. And just so you know how uncomfortable
the situation was ..we were practicing oral sex...i had
performed my half and was allowing him ...
2 Comments, 705 Views,
20 Votes
,1.08 Score
|
|
I know the whole truth 7/2/2005
At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults
are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes
it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the
whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it
out.
<br>
He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says,
"I know the whole truth." His mother quickly
hands him
$20 and says, "Just don't tell your ...
0 Comments, 212 Views,
12 Votes
,4.21 Score
|
|
Surprise 6/27/2005
My ex and I were at her parents house and feeling a bit frisky.
We started going at it and decided that we should stay clothed
just in case we heard someone coming so we could get dressed
fast. Well, we removed what we needed to and started going
at it. We were so into it, we didn't hear someone coming
and by that time it was too late. She was sitting on top of
me when her brother walked ...
0 Comments, 799 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
|
|
My Husband is going to Kill me when he reads this 6/23/2005
We have been together for fourteen years, but when we were
first dating, oh my. We had only had sex a few times and we
decided to do it doggie style. Well away we were going when
all of a sudden it slipped into the wrong hole. I was so shocked
that I bucked him off and he fell on the floor. I am not sure
who was more embarrased him or me. He got back on the bed and
we talked about it and ...
3 Comments, 1179 Views,
40 Votes
,3.72 Score
|
|
i want relationship horror stories, please true only. 6/22/2005
i want everyone who reads this to reply with thier worst
relationship horror stories, true only please.
4 Comments, 520 Views,
11 Votes
,2.05 Score
|
|
what do you do when you're caught in the act? 6/17/2005
I spent the night at my best friends house and in the moring
she woke me up and told me to go take a shower first. I was in
there and I was really aroused. My best friend is so hot and
she woke me up in a little skimmpy nighty. I was in the shower
and started masterbating. 5 minutes later she walks in
and says are you finished yet. It's clear glass so she
could see me plain as day. ...
2 Comments, 713 Views,
24 Votes
,4.72 Score
|
|
QUICKY OR NOT? 5/31/2005
DO WOMEN LIKE IT WHEN SEX GOES ON FOR HOURS?
MY GIRLFRIEND LOVES IT WHEN ITS QUICK AND WHEN IT GOES ON
FOR HOURS BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. HOW DO I KNOW WHEN SHE WANTS
A QUICKY OR THE LONG HALL?
PLEASE HELP
1 Comments, 573 Views,
15 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
Pick Up Lines 5/21/2005
Swapfinder.com keeps losing posts, and people seemed to like it before,
so I'm reposting it.
<br>
A friend sent me this a few years ago, don't know where
it came from. OK, some of these are truly rude, some corny,
some REALLY dumb, but some are pretty clever.
<br>
Given the right situation, I could see using a few... My
favorite: #108. Which do you like?
<br>
1. ...
3 Comments, 588 Views,
25 Votes
,4.35 Score
|
|
oldie but goodie 5/19/2005
i know this is old, but i heard it again recently and had to
post it.
<br>
a guy comes home from work one day to find his girlfriend
packing up her things. shes furious at him.
hes confused as to why she would suddenly pack up and leave.
he asks her whats the matter.
she says she found out that hes a pedophile.
"pedophile?" he says laughing. "thats
a pretty big word for a 12 ...
0 Comments, 423 Views,
14 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
Is Cupid on strike? 4/25/2005
So this guy, lonely and tired of the same crap in the "real"
world. Tries the on line personals. He views some attractive
women and decides to join. Saying to himself "Wow,
this is great!
I'm not bad looking and have allot to offer."
He joins and begins sending emails to the women that seem
to be perfect. The on line site shows five of five hearts
or stars or dicks. It even sends him ...
0 Comments, 267 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
|
|
One for the Ladies 4/24/2005
A fireman and his wife were in a sexual rut. One day he came
home from the station after a full day of training, excited
as all hell. Honey, he said. Today we learned a new alarm
system to help us get to the fire quickly. On Bell 1, we slide
down the pole! On Bell 2, we get in our gear! On Bell 3, we jump
on the truck and head to the fire! I was thinking we could
use this system to enhance ...
2 Comments, 525 Views,
21 Votes
,6.84 Score
|
|
Joke 4/19/2005
If there is no grass on the field, flip her around and play
in the mudd
0 Comments, 317 Views,
8 Votes
,0.23 Score
|
|
highway to hawaii 4/17/2005
A man found a lamp and when he rubbed it a genie appeared and
told him that he would grant him just one wish. So he thought
a bit and said , I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but
I'm deathly afraid of flying, so I'd like a highway
to Hawaii so I can drive. The genie thought and said, I can
do that but it's very difficult, would there be something
else instead? Well the man thought a bit ...
0 Comments, 165 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
|
|
"A World Without Orgasms?" ;-) 4/13/2005
Ladys, Gents! How would some of us deal with not being able
to orgasm? Although unfortunately some people are experiencing
this issue today; put yourself in their shoes and imagine
it. You'd have sex and reach the point of explosion
and couldn't spill a drop of your juices.
1 Comments, 157 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
Just read a funny joke. 4/6/2005
What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'?
<br>
I can sleep with a light on.
0 Comments, 188 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
|
|
Long Distance 4/5/2005
Two guys are driving to work when one asks the other if he
talks to his wife after sex.
<br>
"Yes" replies the guy, "if I can find a
phone."
1 Comments, 315 Views,
10 Votes
,1.99 Score
|
|
Time to rock out with your cock out! 4/4/2005
Last night, I was actually having sex. Now, what made this
a memorable experience, besides me having sex, is that
AC/DC's "TNT" was playing. And for the
first time in my life, I had rhythm. That whole, "women
to the left of me/women to the right" thing got my dick
harder than it's ever been.
So afterwards, while lying in bed, basking in the afterglow
and listening to woman lie to me ...
2 Comments, 230 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
|
|
Laughs are fun things 3/28/2005
making your man or woman laugh is fun and also a relationship
saver, try it atleast 5 jokes a day and one must be when u
wake up and when u going to your bed. peace out respect man!!!
1 Comments, 100 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
Jokez Make a relationship last longer 3/27/2005
If u can make your mate smile u will have him/her longer in
your life...........trust me i know..
0 Comments, 93 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
|
|
BEANS 3/24/2005
I went to visit a lady friend one evening. She had already
had a few drinks before I arrived. She fixed me a drink and
we settled on the sofa, her to take a nap and me to try to get
laid. I was caressing her body, working my face toward her
crotch(we're still dressed, mind you) and as I got
closer to my target, the heffa farted. Turns out, she had
eaten a bowl of beans earlier that day. I ...
1 Comments, 334 Views,
10 Votes
,2.19 Score
|
|
Joke 3/22/2005
So, this grade school teacher was teaching her class vocabulary
words. She starts with the letter "A" and works
her way through the alphabet, picking a word that begins
with each letter and asking students to use that word in
a sentence. Apple for "A, " Banana for "B, "
etc. She gets to "W" and picks the word "womb."
<br>
"Can anyone use the word 'womb' in a sentence?"
she says. ...
0 Comments, 247 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
MEN: Words Women Use 3/20/2005
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
<br>
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something",
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with
"Nothing" usually end in "Fine".
<br>
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
<br>
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually ...
1 Comments, 321 Views,
22 Votes
,6.01 Score
|
|
Stikee Situations.... 3/10/2005
This will be a series of questions I'm going to post
every week asking what you would do if certain situations
ever arose in your relationship. Please stayed tuned because
you're gonna run across a few things that will make
you say "HMMM".....
<br>
<br>
<br>
Say you are at your lovers house and you're in the bathroom
washing up after a night of hot passionate ...
5 Comments, 415 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
|
|
How well do you really know someone? 3/7/2005
How many of you can fart infront of your partner?
5 Comments, 332 Views,
14 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
I wish i could read her mind 3/5/2005
Boy isnt this every mans dream? for us married guys you know
what i mean . For you younger guys married or single if you
dont know you soon will find out I guess my biggest dilema
is and always will be . When does no mean no and when does no
mean yes? Ive been married to the same wonderfull woman
for 17 years and my dilema still exhists, If she says im tired
and wants to get some sleep and ...
1 Comments, 170 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
|
|
ordinary break up 2/26/2005
Its very ordinary now adays for every couple to separate.
Thier investment for their relationship were lost in just
a matter of simple jelousy and most common of all is the sudden
twist of ...
1 Comments, 96 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score
|
|
"Diversity Clarification 101/ 2005" 2/26/2005
Why do people describe themselves as being "openminded"
and "nonjudgemental"..... and then turn around
and have an "X" in the box on their profile by
race and age? Help me understand this people.
2 Comments, 116 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
So,... Has It Comes To This... 2/25/2005
Personal Ads - Interpreted
<br>
WOMEN'S ADS
<br>
40-ish................ 49
Adventurer.............Slept with all your friends
Athletic.............. No tits
Average looking........Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful............. Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.......Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.............. Banged her Political Science
professor
...
1 Comments, 415 Views,
33 Votes
,5.99 Score
|
|
where is the line? 2/23/2005
Hey. Where is the line between too much humor, not enough
and just right? I try to make girls laugh, but not too much.
I'm no comedian. How much does laughter play in love?
0 Comments, 89 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
Drinking and Cunnilingus 2/19/2005
Not a good combo. Has anyone else passed out while being
down on their girlfriend? Not a fun morning
1 Comments, 299 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
|
|
What Would You Do Without Your Penis? 2/11/2005
If I didn't have a penis...
<br>
<br>
I know it sounds strange, but I'd probably become a
better lover. Sex wouldn't revolve around my dick
like it does now. I'd spend more time kissing my girlfriend,
massaging her, and listening to her. I think she might feel
a lot more satisfied. "I'm not sure about me!"
4 Comments, 255 Views,
14 Votes
,3.62 Score
|
|
Guranteed? Turn-Ons 2/11/2005
Guranteed? Turn Ons:
<br>
<br>
A fabulous home cooked meal (with you for dessert!).
<br>
<br>
A quickie in a elevator.
<br>
<br>
Dirty talk during sex.
<br>
<br>
A perfect smile.
<br>
<br>
Having your underware ripped off!
<br>
<br>
A 90-minute ...
2 Comments, 348 Views,
20 Votes
,1.98 Score
|
|
Predicktions 2/11/2005
Virtual Intercourse:
<br>
<br>
Blow-up dolls are so--what's the word?--tacky. The
ultimate joyride will soon be as close as your (extremely)
friendly laptop and fabulous members-only virtual intercourse
website. Utilizing 3-D glasses and a revelutionary sensoMatic
silicon penis "sleeve, " virtual intercourse
will offer an almost unlimited range of fantasy encounters ...
0 Comments, 312 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
|
|
You meet you gorlfriend how? 2/6/2005
I'm not trying to brag about anything, I just think
this is a funny way to have meet my now ex-girlfirned. I am
an art major, and I was in a life-drawing class. I saw so many
nude models I realized it was no big deal really, and that
after a few momment people looking at the model see shapes
and values, not a naked person. So I decided to give it a try.
I could use the money after all, ...
1 Comments, 204 Views,
12 Votes
,1.74 Score
|
|
Doing the laundry 2/6/2005
When our were little (2&4) we would say "doing
the laundry" as another phrase for having sex.
One day we were having a small dispute which left me upset.
I went & set down on the couch as my 4 yr old came up to me
to ask what was wrong. I did not want her to know we were fighting
so I told her that daddy & I were talking about doing
the laundry, however our washing machine had quit ...
1 Comments, 824 Views,
66 Votes
,7.19 Score
|
|
ANYTHING TO GET THE DRAWERS! 1/27/2005
Have you ever met a man on this site who appears to have a dynamic
profile, good personality and great looks? Once you get
ready to have sex everything that was in their profile goes
straight out the window! Some men will say anything to get
the drawers/panties/thongs, but when you get down to it
will not back up their shit. I met this one man who claims
to love oral sex, excuse me, that is ...
6 Comments, 559 Views,
27 Votes
,4.29 Score
|
|
SO EMBARRASSING! 1/27/2005
I have been on this site for about 6 months and have only have
a few dates/meetings. I can honestly say that the men that
I have met really were not up my expectations. Lets face
it; this is an ADULT site so anything could happen. What
I never thought would happen is men who I have already met
and even engaged in sex with would forget my handle and ultimately
send an email wanting to meet. ...
5 Comments, 684 Views,
35 Votes
,5.62 Score
|
|
MY TRIP TO THE DOCTORS !!! ??? !!! 1/27/2005
After sitting there for a while in the waiting room, that
bastard doctor finally called my name !!
<br>
At last ! It was my turn to go in !!
<br>
Straight down to business I took me trousers off and said,
"Have a look at this Doc, my fuggin cock is like a Walnut"
!?!
<br>
He said, "You do realize that when you go for a piss
you're supposed to shake the fuggin ...
0 Comments, 788 Views,
47 Votes
,1.89 Score
|
|
Sex with a Republican??? 1/23/2005
This is a funny take on what sex with members of certain political
parties might be like. It's all tongue-in-cheek,
since I haven't had sex with any of these people (I'm
a Canadian). Still there is hope... America has 10 times
the population of Canada, so that would mean 10 times the
liklihood of finding a date... oops, I'm getting off
topic...
<br>
<br>
Sex with a ...
0 Comments, 112 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Sex with a Canadian, eh? 1/23/2005
Here's a funny take on sex with Canadians. Hey, if you
can't poke fun at your own country, ya shouldn't
insult others.
--------------------------------------------------
<br>
Sex with a Canadian, Pros and Cons
<br>
<br>
1)we can do it in really cold weather
<br>
2) we bitch about it when it's too hot or too cold
<br>
3) we like to think we do ...
0 Comments, 193 Views,
15 Votes
,2.67 Score
|
|
funny but embarrasing 1/18/2005
I had a girl that was really interested in me throughout
high school. We were very close friends and she would come
over my house ever so often(when my parents werent home).
We would cuddle but were to shy to let anything else happen.
I explained to her numerous times that I didn't want
a relationship. The girl had a really crappy home life and
her mother choose her boyfriend over the girl ...
0 Comments, 433 Views,
15 Votes
|
|
there's no room for fun here... 1/18/2005
What is that sound? Is it laughter? Joy? What the fuck are
you thinking? We are in a relationshiop. Do you understand
that? A relationship!!! There is no room for humor or joy
or laughter here. This is serious fucking work. And we wonder
why people don't stay together. No one wants to work
hard anymore.
0 Comments, 119 Views,
12 Votes
|
|
A misunderstanding ended in laughter 1/17/2005
Sex can be so mush, from the deepest sharing of love, 2 raw
mutual plessure!
This time I'm gonna tell about was the first time i had
sex with my former boy-friend.
The sex was good, we had been in love 4 so long, that a simple
stroke was enough 2 get us aroused.
But in the end of the "session" he was taking
me "doggy-style"...and just befor i was cumming, he
said "I'm about 2 cum"...! ...
1 Comments, 523 Views,
35 Votes
,5.18 Score
|
|
Get a life ,,,,,, 1/17/2005
Once youve found yourself , ,Then your able , ,you may
fall through people , , but eventualy you WILL be caught
, ,, ,, ,,
0 Comments, 85 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
pdaesdude.... 1/16/2005
I thought that I would make up my own damn language and write
a long article that nobody else on the whole goddamn planet
can read. ejaaavnafh pejoazop p[jaonaopp[wf ...ha, ha,
ha.
Get it.
0 Comments, 75 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
THAT HOT COP DID WHAT? 1/11/2005
Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
Sometimes I find I need to scream
<br>
He's a freak of nature
But we love him so
He's a freak of nature
But we let him go
<br>
Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard on bleedin'
Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no that would be treason
Believe me Eve she gave good reason
Botty ...
0 Comments, 103 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
Longface 1/8/2005
Why did the cow had a long face ?
<br>
its because she says:-
A woman gets fucked evey day and milks only once a year, and
with me ...... I get fucked only once a year and milks throughout
the year .... thats why the long face.
0 Comments, 54 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
|
|
Ship 1/8/2005
what is the similarity between a ship and a woman?
<br>
<br>
Well....... A ship cuts thro the water and a woman waters
thro the cut.
0 Comments, 110 Views,
8 Votes
,1.39 Score
|
|
Need Humor 1/8/2005
I think humor is very important. I hate when I am with a girl
and I try to joke around with her about something and she
is too serious. Even girls that are fun are the same way.
They always joke around with me kind of sexually, and when
I go to do the same to her she gets pissed.
0 Comments, 89 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
TenTattoos & Sex 1/4/2005
Tattoed lovers are extremely sexy and interacting with
inked skin heightens the sensual experience.
Why? Here are the 10 top reasons:
<br>
1)Licking a tatoo won't give you carb-guilt in the
morning.
<br>
2) It makes sex into a "scratch and sniff" experience
for our eyeballs...
<br>
3)Tatoos move when your lover moves. You burn twice the
calories ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
First date blunder 12/31/2004
I had exchanged a few emails with a local lady, found out
she had a Masters in Social Work, seemed very bright, cheerful
and possesed a subtle sexual lure. We decided to meet for
coffe and see if lust would take hold.
The day came and we met at a local mall's food court since
it was familiar to both of us. Exchanged hugs and I could
feel her hard nipples through my shirt. We sat and, out ...
1 Comments, 187 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
|
|
The Real Origin of Condoms... 12/30/2004
Hey, isn’t a condom one room in a condominium?
<br>
But seriously… I’d like to meet the guy who invented the
condom. I just wonder who thought of it first??? I hear tell
that condoms have been around for quite some time and that
the original ones were made out of animal hides. One theory
of their origin is this: A caveman (named Ugh) beats a cave
girl ...
0 Comments, 139 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
|
|
My thoughts on gay & lesbian sex... 12/30/2004
Although I would describe myself as sexually adventurous
& open minded, I’m still basically pretty conservative
in my thinking, at least when it comes to alternate lifestyles.
By alternate, I mean gay & lesbian. And, as a man, I especially
dislike the idea of men having sex with other men. I’m a little
more tolerant of lesbian sex, but only because the lesbian
porn videos & ...
1 Comments, 101 Views,
8 Votes
|
|
My thoughts on Cybersex... 12/30/2004
I’ve only had cyber-sex once. It ruined my mouse and made
my keyboard all sticky. And if you don’t use protection,
your computer could get a nasty virus. I don’t recommend
it!
0 Comments, 49 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Boxers or Briefs? 12/30/2004
As Shakespeare would say, “That is the question. Whether
‘tis nobler to robe thy loins with…” ‒ oh, never mind. I’m
not sure why this is such a big question. I mean, does it really
make any difference to the lustful women who might actually
ponder such a question? Do women really derive any true
pleasure just by knowing what kind of underpants ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
My thoughts on shaving... 12/30/2004
I don’t suppose it’s necessary for me to say that I’m not
talking about shaving faces or legs. Of course I’m talking
about that certain preference (or is it a fetish) of shaving
the pubic region ‒ (excuse my language).
<br>
Once more I am totally unqualified to address the female
perspective, but I would suspect that most women have considered ...
1 Comments, 144 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
|
|
Sex and Humor 12/25/2004
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening
25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you
first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through
your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck
your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, ...
0 Comments, 243 Views,
54 Votes
,6.05 Score
|
|
Funny 12/25/2004
How are women and tornadoes alike?
<br>
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house
when they leave.
1 Comments, 148 Views,
36 Votes
,4.79 Score
|
|
First Experience 12/22/2004
My first experience with a woman was my most memorable experience.
I was sitting at the Pub in my Leather sipping on a brew and
a cute gal said I looked like a real man. We sat drinking and
conversing and she asked if I wanted to go back to her place.
We made it to the bedroom with a line of clothing behind.
She caressed my body, softly kissed my nips and climbed
on top. My bod was steamin' ...
0 Comments, 130 Views,
17 Votes
,2.70 Score
|
|
sex in a long term relationship and how a washingmaschine can save it 12/21/2004
Oh well there was this couple , wich were married allready
for 15 years and the sexuall attraction wasn't there
anymore , like when they meet.
<br>
Anyways both decided to see a sex therapist to freshen up
their lust . So they sitting by the therapist and he's
telling them that they need to be more " spontanious"
.
<br>
So he's asking the doc how would they achive ...
0 Comments, 75 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
I thought i was a good Lover :( 12/21/2004
I really thought i was a good Lover , till i found out my ex-girlfriend
had asthma.
<br>
Only then i realized where the havy breathing was coming
from.
0 Comments, 51 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
|
|
2 Doctors and their dating experience 12/21/2004
Oh well their was these 2 Doctors wich meet over a dating
service and they agreed to meet in a bar for their first date
.
<br>
Anyways the evening got longer and longer and both had allready
a couple of drinks .
<br>
He was a bit shy but eventually he found the courage to ask
her if she would like to come with to his place to have the
last drink.
<br>
She ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
14 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
Viagra 12/21/2004
I really have to tell you guys this story . A friend of mine
went on holiday to Thailand and brought some bottles of
Viagra with , since he was a bit older then me he relied on
it or better his wife .
<br>
Anyways he comes back and he's telling me what hunk
he is now and that he can last for 3 hours and 15 mins .
<br>
Damn i know that Viagra isnt to healthy and i ...
0 Comments, 182 Views,
16 Votes
,2.25 Score
|
|
my sexlife and my addiction to some medicine 12/21/2004
yeah where do i start , oh yes did i tell you guys when i was
young i realy had big problems with girls and sex .
<br>
You wont beliefe me but it took me always 4 hours and 13 mins
... yes exactly 4 hrs and 13 mins.
<br>
- 10 mins foreplay
- 3 mins action
- 4 hrs unconscious 
<br>
Oh well after that i meet a friend and he suggested i should
take ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
12 Votes
,2.09 Score
|
|
just a little wind 12/20/2004
picture the scene, one cool autum day me and a rather pasionate
young lady were busy in the bed room, when she decided to
change positions and go on top. With all that vigiorious
bouncing (and a good curry in me)i could feel the accumilation
of wind down below, dispite my best efforts to suppress
the flow, she managed to squeeze it out of me!! and as quick
as a flash hopped of expressing ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
8 Votes
,1.16 Score
|
|
Ode to oral 12/12/2004
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
...
1 Comments, 106 Views,
47 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Cramp during Sex 12/10/2004
Just thought I'd share this funny little story that
happened to me one time....
I was dating this girl and of course having sex on a fairly
regular basis. One night we were in bed going at it for the
second time in various positions. I'd already fucked
her about an hour earlier but she's feeling extra frisky
and wants to go at it again. Not wanting to disappoint her,
I go to work. ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
27 Votes
,2.93 Score
|
|
I love humor 12/7/2004
I just love a couple with a sense of humor. What do you do if
a couple just does not know how to joke around and your just
not interested anymore? Life is to be lived and have fun
doing it.
2 Comments, 31 Views,
12 Votes
,1.21 Score
|
|
With Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore 12/6/2004
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the room
The new guys were talking of doom and of gloom.
“There are too many guys!” I heard one of them say,
I wish that you others would just go away!”
<br>
The women were laughing, they’d seen it before
“Hi let’s have sex” as soon as they hit the door.
“And I ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
16 Votes
,5.77 Score
|
|
The saga of sandy and dennis 12/5/2004
BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS:
The face of a muff diver named dennis
Grew fuzz like a ball made for tennis
Whomever he ate
Thought his tongue was just great
But his beard was an absolute menace
<br>
Day and night he would lick one named Sandy
And feast on her puss just like candy
Though her thighs were all raw
Shredded just like coleslaw
She liked ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
14 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
Sex Therapist 11/30/2004
A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about
the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test
to tell for certain how often someone has sex.
<br>
To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people,
and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using
the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able
to guess accurately until he comes to the ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,5.59 Score
|
|
Clothing sizes 11/25/2004
When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to
purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man
will try on a pair; when he finds a pair that fits, he buys
them. Most men do not spend alot of time fretting about the
specific size of thier pants. Many men wear jeans which
have the size printed on the back label, so that, if you're
standing behind the man in a supermarket ...
5 Comments, 90 Views,
54 Votes
,7.43 Score
|
|
A night out 11/24/2004
A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead
of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spent his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted
by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours
with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to
him, ...
0 Comments, 201 Views,
49 Votes
,7.32 Score
|
|
Cyber Sex Conversation 11/22/2004
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately
known as
"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into
keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get
pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one
of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of
an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of
cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
<br>
...
0 Comments, 642 Views,
53 Votes
,8.97 Score
|
|
Connected!! 11/21/2004
Ok, since i just discovered this part of the article categories,
i have a place to tell this short, but quite funny/wierd
experience.
<br>
<br>
I an my ex-girlfriend were having sex, quite happily one
day. Well, i have to mention here that she was quite 'tight'
at the tender age of 16 and i was quite, "big"
at the same age.
<br>
Well, this was a particularly ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
17 Votes
,4.54 Score
|
|
The Escaped Convict 11/20/2004
The Escaped Convict
<br>
A man escapes from American prison after serving time for
15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns
and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed
and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he
gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes
into the bathroom.
<br>
Whilst he is in the ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
24 Votes
,7.67 Score
|
|
Marraige Jokes 11/20/2004
1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered
that.
<br>
2. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's
degree and the woman gets her master's.
<br>
<br>
3. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
15 Votes
,5.27 Score
|
|
First night of marraige 11/20/2004
On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple
go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom,
all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud
husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can
open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.
"Oh, oh, aaaahhh, " he exclaims, "My
word, you are so beautiful, let me take your ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
31 Votes
,8.42 Score
|
|
Results from sex research 11/20/2004
One year, a man recorded every day of the year and whether
he had sex with his wife or not. In the 365 days he conducted
his research, he only had sex 12 days. He recorded the reasons
why his wife couldn't have sex with him, and these are
the results:
<br>
1. The sheets are clean....................................54
times
2. It is too ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
34 Votes
,7.28 Score
|
|
10 Things you don't want to hear during sex. 11/18/2004
10."Is it in?"
9.Your brothers name.
8.A fart then "hee hee, sorry".
7."I wonder whats on T.V.?"
6.Your sisters name.
5."Damn, your better than i thought you'd be!"
4.Your Dads name.
3."Aww its so cute"
2."Cough, cough, ugh sorry hairball"
And the number one thing!
1."Ohhhhh George W."
0 Comments, 97 Views,
19 Votes
,4.84 Score
|
|
10 Reasons why men think masturbation is better than sex. 11/18/2004
10.It takes less work.
9.Our wallets don't have to suffer.
8.Don't have to snuggle afterwards.
7.It may be your hand but at least you don't
have to put up with your ex.
6.Its the best way we know of to have 'safe sex'.
5.Its something to do when we're bored.
4.We like to test the the "you'll put your eye
out doing that" saying.
3.It saves some of us from sleeping ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
20 Votes
,2.74 Score
|
|
The Whales 11/17/2004
One day these two whales were swimming, a boy whale and his
girlfriend. They were swimming around, having a good time
when the boy whale sees this whaling vessel. "THAT'S
THE BOAT THAT KILLED MY DAY", he yells. "Here's
what we're going to do, we're going to take a deep
breath, swim under the boat, and blow really hard. The boat
will capsize and all the sailors will drown." Girl
whale ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
20 Votes
,4.27 Score
|
|
10 Reasons why women love their man. 11/16/2004
10. Because he has a good job and makes
good money.
<br>
9. Because he actually knows where my
elusive 'G' spot is(spread the secret!).
<br>
8. My man isn't a cheater, lyer or a jerk.
<br>
7. My man is a really good guy.
<br>
6. Their man is largely endowed.
<br>
5. Some women like their mans average size dick.
<br>
4. ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
|
|
She has soooo many names... 11/14/2004
I am a young, intelligent and sexually active guy here on
Swapfinder.com. I've had the pleasure and priveledge to meet quite
a few good people and quite a few characters!!! One person
in particular comes to mind... Let's just call him
JOE. joe is a good friend whom I've now known for about
6 months on Swapfinder.com. He is a very nice and intelligent individual!1
In fact he reminds me a lot of myself. But Joe ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
21 Votes
,3.87 Score
|
|
Fun Ways to boot out a one-night stand 11/12/2004
Have fun....
<br>
Ladies: Fun Ways to Boot out a One-Night-Stand…
By: Tilly Rivers
<br>
This is just for fun… no offence intended…. A laugh ladies
and gentleman, some times sex is taken way too seriously.
<br>
1. Ask him what his ten-year plan is for your future …
2. Look him directly in the eye and ask him if he would like
to ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
24 Votes
,5.29 Score
|
|
I will Survive-- with a twist... 11/7/2004
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd
spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on....
<br>
But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a big Mac and
you've bought me a French fry! I should have known that
it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic ...
2 Comments, 65 Views,
47 Votes
,8.17 Score
|
|
My Redheaded Cock 11/2/2004
My redheaded cock
In a made to mesure sock
If you give him a shower
He'll grow like a tower
He'll be happy when carresed
Squezed, pulled, or kessed
A light tap on the head
He'll jump up to be fed
Spit on him he'll be happy
Slip sliding and being flopy
Tiny fingers around his neck
To get him hard and long,
he likes to be called prick
- Hey prick like to come inside?
- ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
|
|
~A day in the life of Kit's Penis~ 11/2/2004
A Day In The Life Of KIT'S Penis....
<br>
6:15am
Wakeupwakeupwakeup! My God, will he ever wake up? Every
day it's the same:
I'm raring to go by dawn, ready to meet the world, or
at least the bathroom,
while Kit's face down and drooling on his pillow. Squishing
me to boot.
<br>
My only recourse is to swell up to full size, making my presence
felt. LIKE
THIS. MORNING ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
32 Votes
,7.27 Score
|
|
Contemplating having ? 11/1/2004
Preparation for Parenthood
<br>
<br>
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading
books and decorating the spare room. Here are 12 simple
tests for the expectant parents to take to prepare themselves
for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
<br>
1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown
and stick a beanbag down the ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
|
|
jokes from the workshop 10/30/2004
Whats a condom and a camera have in common? They both capture
the moment!
0 Comments, 63 Views,
26 Votes
,4.97 Score
|
|
Are Relationships Our Mirrors? 10/28/2004
If we learn to see our relationships as the wonderfully
accurate mirrors they are, revealing to us where we need
to go with our own inner process, we can see much about ourselves
that we would otherwise have a great deal of difficulty
learning.
<br>
One of the biggest differences between the path of the material
world, the path of transcendence, and the path of transformation
is ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
18 Votes
,4.08 Score
|
|
What is Key to successfull Relations? 10/26/2004
I have seen lot of breakups in my life. Some time what made
them to separate from each other. Few days ago they were
saying they could not live without each other and now they
are not even interested to talk. What was wrong? Where mistakes
has been made? How to avoid them? What is the key to successfull
relations? Share your thoughts and views with me so we all
can learn from them.
1 Comments, 30 Views,
20 Votes
|
|
Funny ha ha 10/22/2004
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor I think my
wife is dead", the looks at him and says "What
make you think that", the man replies "Well
the sex is the same but the washing is piling up"
0 Comments, 22 Views,
25 Votes
,7.00 Score
|
|
SEXUAL ADDICTION 10/20/2004
LoL, I thought this was just too much and had to shar it with
all of you. I was searching sites and fell upon this one in
general. It is a site to help people who have a "Sexual
Addiction". This is a quote from the main page:
<br>
"Sexual addiction is rapidly becoming recognized
as a major social problem with similarities more well-known
to alcohol and drug addiction or ...
5 Comments, 87 Views,
65 Votes
,7.31 Score
|
|
Leaking ass 10/10/2004
My girlfriend started taking this medidine that was a fat blocker. She is a little over weight , at the most 20 pounds or so. Anyway this medicine is the nastiest thing that someone could ever take. Everywhere she would go fat would be leaking out her ass. The fat looked just like cooking oil but a darker redish color. She taught gymnastics and on one ocassion she was sitting on the floor in the ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
I just don't know what else to do... 10/9/2004
Two friends are out drinking one night when one turns to
the other, sighs then says, "I just don't know
what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been
out drinking I turn the headlights off before I get to the
driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the
stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom I ease into ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
66 Votes
,8.30 Score
|
|
WE R LOOKING FOR FUN AND FRIENDSHIP 10/6/2004
WE R LOOKING FOR FUN AND FRIENDSHIP NO TIME WASTERS AS WE HAVE HAD A FEW OF THEM WE R A GENUINE COUPLE
0 Comments, 24 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score
|
|
Internet date , HELP someone 10/5/2004
Ah internet dating some thing evil this way comes and it comes in a package of pictures and blank written words with no emotion or body language to read. Size and shape are all distorted everyone is anonymous.
Well I have a few stories to tell about it and so does everyone. I tell you I have had nightmares about this one. It all starts with a simple internet sight. A dating sight I meet ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
11 Votes
,5.60 Score
|
|
When Meeting for first time 9/29/2004
What's a girl to do when someone push her into touching him or her even though you said that the relations will be chatting for first and after that you can decide what then. But if you like the guy/girl, would you go for it?
0 Comments, 19 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
|
|
farts in bed 9/29/2004
Why does she miss the humor of my love farts.
0 Comments, 33 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
|
|
Husband Shopping Center 9/25/2004
A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where
a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband.
It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in
positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.
<br>
The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor,
you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a
floor, you couldn't go back down ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
46 Votes
,9.33 Score
|
|
Tune 9/25/2004
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion
is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
<br>
The husband says "WHAT??"
<br>
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that
nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
29 Votes
,7.35 Score
|
|
a union of religions 9/24/2004
A young irish lad was shagging a young jewish girl.he said
to her"Your not very tight for a jew"..She replied"And
your not very thick for a paddy"
0 Comments, 24 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
|
|
On Fire 9/16/2004
There was this guy that I would occasionally hook up with.
One evening he asked me to come to his house for a lil fun.
He asked me to wear a black skirt with no panties. Of course,
I agreed. Now it was the middle of winter and freezing cold.
After sometime I arrived at his house freezing, and told
him that it probably would take a crow bar to pry my legs open.
He stood me in front of ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
40 Votes
,7.23 Score
|
|
Tell u one thing when they really want it 9/5/2004
I had this one girl that i was dating that told me that she
wanted to save herself, that she made a promise and didnt
want to break it....this promise was that she wouldnt have
vaginal sex until she was out of college...a ludicrous
promise but nonetheless...i couldnt get anything from
her...nothing at all...then finally she agreed to let
me fuck her anally...so her promise would remain ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
34 Votes
,3.33 Score
|
|
Friendly's 8/26/2004
When I first started going out with my girlfriend, we went
to an ice cream store called Friendly's. I ordered
what I wanted then let her order...she looked at the waitress
and said "I'd like a Reese's Penis Cup."
I buckled over laughing as she got red at her Freudian slip...
<br>
Of course, later I gave her what she really wanted, but for
then and there, she got her ice cream
0 Comments, 23 Views,
38 Votes
,7.14 Score
|
|
Never break !!! 8/17/2004
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke,
work on it as hard as you possibly can. And if you can't
fix what's broke, it's smarter to cut your losses
and get out than it is to stay for two years trying to fix it
in vain.
0 Comments, 17 Views,
31 Votes
,6.12 Score
|
|
Blow Job 8/11/2004
Q: What is the best thing about a blow job?
<br>
A: The five minutes of silence.
1 Comments, 24 Views,
129 Votes
,6.83 Score
|
|
Success to a Male 8/11/2004
To a man, the meaning of success depends on his age:
<br>
At age 4, success is not peeing in his pants.
<br>
At age 16, success is "gettin' a little".
<br>
At age 50, success is about career and family.
<br>
At age 65, success is "gettin' a little".
<br>
At age 90, success is not peeing in his pants.
0 Comments, 20 Views,
45 Votes
,6.59 Score
|
|
Threesome 8/11/2004
Mary: My last boyfriend said he fantasized about having
two girls at once.
<br>
Jill: Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?
<br>
Mary: I said, "If you can't satisfy one woman,
why would you want to piss off another one?"
0 Comments, 28 Views,
115 Votes
,9.15 Score
|
|
True Meaning of Weddings 8/9/2004
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
<br>
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today
is the happiest day of her life, " her mother explained,
keeping it simple.
<br>
The thought for a moment and said, "So why is
the groom wearing black?"
0 Comments, 29 Views,
32 Votes
,7.37 Score
|
|
Little Flasher 8/9/2004
There was an exhibitionist that wanted to flash someone.
He went to the airport and looked around. He saw a young lady
taking tickets and he went to the end of the line. When he
got to the front, he opened his jacket and flashed her.
<br>
She said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
0 Comments, 21 Views,
59 Votes
,8.33 Score
|
|
Doggy Style 8/9/2004
Two buddies were sharing drinks and discussing their wives.
<br>
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?"
asked the one.
<br>
"Well, not exactly, " his friend replied.
"She's more into the 'trick dog' aspect
of it."
<br>
"Oh, I see. Kinky, huh?"
<br>
"Well, not exactly -- I sit up and beg, and she rolls
over and plays dead."
0 Comments, 35 Views,
77 Votes
,8.35 Score
|
|
My Wife's a Liar 8/9/2004
"That wife of mine is a liar, " said the angry
husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him at the bar.
<br>
"How do you know?" the friend asked.
<br>
"She didn't come home last night, and when I asked
her where she'd been, she said that she had spent the
night with her sister, Shirley."
<br>
"So?"
<br>
"So she's a liar. I spent the night ...
0 Comments, 134 Views,
61 Votes
,8.63 Score
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what were they thinking for the matter what was i thinking 8/6/2004
ok this a little story of a 34 female who after her divorce
went 2 years with out sex , then one day she came across Swapfinder.com
well it was like a in a candy store lol.well she put a profile
up described what she was lookin for in detail even put some
pictures up , waited to see what would happen checked back
in a couple of days and wow so many ims what to do now so she
read , replied to some of ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
22 Votes
,4.33 Score
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How to be a good wife/partner LOL 7/29/2004
Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets better)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to
have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This
is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect
of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part ...
1 Comments, 67 Views,
37 Votes
,6.54 Score
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|
The night i met my hubby 7/29/2004
Me & a few friends of mine were out clubbing, we had been
dancing most of night & decided to go cool off &
get another drink at the coffee bar(yes I did say coffee
bar n no we weren't drinking coffee lol), the place
was packed as per usual so we squashed ourselves onto one
half of a table.
We got chatting to some guys who were sat on the other side
of the table & by this time we were all ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
53 Votes
,5.20 Score
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A wife and a job 7/28/2004
Whats the differance between your job and your wife of 15
years?
<br>
<br>
<br>
Your job still Sucks!
0 Comments, 33 Views,
49 Votes
,6.23 Score
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|
The pay back 7/26/2004
A friend shared this story with me and it is a must read for
all guys!
<br>
He was a freshman in College/University, and he was out
partying having a typicla college night. This hot girl
and her friends come in who are in second year he decides
to step to her. Well this 2nd year Diva totally blows him
off. She even grand stands as she is infront of all of her
friends and ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
27 Votes
,2.08 Score
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Never give a woman a watch 7/25/2004
Why should you never give a woman a watch?
<br>
Because there's one on the friggin stove!!
0 Comments, 11 Views,
33 Votes
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Why You Might Not Deserve a Hot, Older Woman 7/20/2004
Men, are you looking for that hot, older woman experience?
Do you think that your young age is all that is necessary
to attract her? Are you finding out that things aren't
quite going your way in the seduction department? Well,
I'm here to help you boys with a list of tips and suggestions:
<br>
1. Come-on line that never works: "You remind me of
my mom and she's pretty cool." ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
63 Votes
,7.98 Score
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Temptations 7/13/2004
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was
her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law
was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low
cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when ...
0 Comments, 125 Views,
73 Votes
,9.44 Score
|
|
RE: Something for the cock nazis 7/7/2004
This complaint is no different than the man who requests
a specific breast, waist or ass size. Barbie isn't
common either!
0 Comments, 61 Views,
23 Votes
,3.83 Score
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Impressing 7/5/2004
Impressing a woman:
-Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hug her. Hold her. Surprise
her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Laugh with her. Cry withher.
Cuddle with her. Shop with her. give her jewelry. Buy her
flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Write
poetry for her. Go to the end of the earth and back again for
her.
Impressing a man:
-Show up naked. Bring beer.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
49 Votes
,7.86 Score
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Cake or bed?? 6/25/2004
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE
INTERRUPTS, "HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE
HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW."
HE LOOKED AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, "FIX THE LIGHTS
NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I
DON'T THINK SO."
"FINE, " THEN THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN,
COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."
TO ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
56 Votes
,7.79 Score
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Making his Jaw Drop! 6/15/2004
So you say your boy has a past. Well so do many women.
I find it hilarious that men think they're locker room
secrecy is amusing.
No actually - It pratically takes all the air in any room
your in with them. 2 men hide the truth in secrecy about their
minds. The silence is thick as water.
Its amusing to know men have so little control of the mind.
So join his amused ...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
50 Votes
|
|
Re:how long do you wait to unleash those 'other' bodily functions? 6/13/2004
My husband got me good one night early on in our relationship
by farting in bed and then waving the blankets on my side
so it came up at me. I got him back the next night by belching
a day's-worth of gas in his ear. I think we'd been
together about five months at that point, and I'd just
moved in with him. But we were completely comfortable with
each other and capable of doing those ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
34 Votes
,6.57 Score
|
|
A Tall Erotic Tail 6/8/2004
I'm traveling around the country visiting friends
and when I get to an old friends town. He graciouly invites
me to stay at his house. After an evening of drinking wine
and talking about old times. Leaving us both buzzed and
happy by the time we call it a night. I go to the bathroom and
when I come out he is standing in the hall. I smile. Goodnight,
I say. Goodnight, he says but neither of ...
0 Comments, 143 Views,
61 Votes
,3.89 Score
|
|
virgin ? 5/31/2004
A couple is laying in bed, post-coital. The woman leans
over and SMACKS her husband.
"What was that for?" he asks.
"That!" she exclaims, "was for being
a lousy lover!"
He thinks about it for a minute, then reaches over and SMACKS
her.
"What was THAT for?" she cries, outraged.
"THAT was for knowing the difference...."
0 Comments, 35 Views,
79 Votes
,8.84 Score
|
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For The Guys 5/25/2004
This is my first article but I know it will be a good one because
I know something about women that guys don't realize
til its too late. Men out there...Most women are indeed
crazy. Ladies let me explain myself before I am crucified
for my words. Women are crazy in the sense that they know
what drives men wild...romantically, sexually and mentally.
This is why they ae crazy. If they ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
45 Votes
,5.86 Score
|
|
Women who fart while your ****ing them....... 5/20/2004
Ok its like this. Just about every woman i've slept
with farts while i'm ****ing them. It's not an
*ss fart but a ****y fart. Sometimes it makes me feel alittle
nausea, but I know it's not her *ss. While she's
farting and i'm pumping, her ****Y starts to get tighter
and tighter. I know that it's her cummy ****y but it
just doesn't seem like it. Please someone tell me if
this has ever ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
59 Votes
,4.26 Score
|
|
expedient marriage 5/9/2004
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental
train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, the two
are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk
and she in
the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying,
"Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
72 Votes
,8.46 Score
|
|
How To Prey on a woman Weaknesses 5/9/2004
Work Her Body
If you’ve managed to attract the interest of a beautiful
woman free of charge, feed her body image paranoia so she
doesn’t come to her senses. She’s worried about not getting
enough exercise? Remind her that sex is great for cardio.
She’s worried about extra calories? That’s twice the Fluffernutters
for you!
<br>
Ride Her Mood ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
60 Votes
|
|
most popular sex position? 5/5/2004
I heard this joke the other day. Not that it's true on
this site... but still kind of cute.
<br>
The AMA did a study and asked Americans what their favorite
sex position is. Number one was Doggie Style. That is when
the man sits up and begs and the woman rolls over and plays
dead.
<br>
drum roll.
<br>
OK well I told you it wasn't true for people on here ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
137 Votes
,8.52 Score
|
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Try Not to Misplace Your Belongings... 4/30/2004
Okay, this is pretty personal, but I guess I can share it
with you guys.
<br>
<br>
My friends and I were in an accident and had to go to therapy.
First we had to do these exercises and massages, and I was
assigned to go to the tub. Well, after the bath, I couldn't
find my underwear anywhere! The nurse probably brushed
them off somewhere, but when I put on a towel and ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
33 Votes
,3.88 Score
|
|
How to be a good wife/partner 1955 vs 2004 4/26/2004
Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets batter)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to
have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This
is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect
of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of
the ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
77 Votes
,8.44 Score
|
|
Re: women who say i like everything 4/21/2004
Possibly when a woman says this, she means she likes and
wants everything done to her. Maybe some women who say this,
then have a negative response to giving you oral sex, just
aren't very comfortable with the idea of having a man's
**** in her mouth <some women are taught this is a dirty
thing>, possibly she gags because she hasn't yet
mastered her gag reflex. I am for one, a woman ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
51 Votes
,5.01 Score
|
|
Speeding and Bass Aren't Drugs 4/19/2004
This is to the women of this site. I ask you a question, in
all honesty, and I would love a response. Are there any women
on this entire fucking planet who are honestly turned on
by guys with their stereos blasting and the bass thumping!?
I've pulled up to a car filled with women while my bass
rattles my back windshield and never ONCE has any of them
said to me, "Oooohhhh, nothing makes ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
42 Votes
,5.47 Score
|
|
Basketball, football, baseball...but not tennis. 4/17/2004
Rodney Carrington said it best when he proved how men created
sports because apparently, we get tired of thinking about
pussy 24 hours a day. Football has uprights through the
middle, baseball has the home runs, and basketball is five
guys fighting five other guys for a hole. Just like this
website or your local club.
Yeah, it still doesn't work.
As a college student, I have ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
41 Votes
,7.08 Score
|
|
Take a left at the Chevron... 4/17/2004
The first time I got laid, I felt like Indiana Jones. I didn’t
have a whip, even though the girl did. I felt like him because
I was searching for that elusive little fucker known as
the “G” spot. I was certain it existed, surely it wasn’t
made up? I mean, there’s no way millions of women would lie
about a spot that would make them scream with orgasmic ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
36 Votes
,5.14 Score
|
|
The Defination of a "Kiss" 4/8/2004
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand
is always higher.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable
when returned.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is infinity because two divided
by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between
two lips.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to
the expansion of the heart.
...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
50 Votes
,6.31 Score
|
|
Sometimes I really hate him. 4/1/2004
I have a great boyfriend, dont get me wrong he treats me well
and is a wonderful person. It just seems that at times he
really annoys me, just little things, and sometimes big
things. At first I thought, okay maybe I am just about to
start my period so I am letting him get to me or whatever.
Well, I think I am wrong about that. I just hate him sometimes.
Last week, we were hanging out, just ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
34 Votes
,3.42 Score
|
|
Your permission slip 3/14/2004
APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE
<br>
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:
<br>
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
authority in my life for the following period:
<br>
Date: Time of departure: Time of return:
<br>
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only
visit the locations stated ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
69 Votes
,6.32 Score
|
|
New rating system 3/8/2004
Jack and Bill were knocking back beers and shooting the
shit at a bar when a hot chick walked in.
"I'd give her a Seven, : Jack said.
Bill shook his head and said, "One."
Another hot babe walked in.
"Whoa, " Jack drooled, "that one gets
a nine!"
Bill shrugged, "Maybe a two."
"Wait a minute, " Jack protested. "These
two girls were the best ones I've seen in a long time,
and all ...
0 Comments, 102 Views,
78 Votes
,7.43 Score
|
|
wife hubby... 3/7/2004
husband: i think u enjoy a lot while doing sex...
wife: yep i do enjoy a lot ... it would have been better if
u were there to see my enjoyemnt....
0 Comments, 23 Views,
89 Votes
,5.48 Score
|
|
How to get a man's attention 2/21/2004
This has got to be one of the best singles ads ever printed.
It appeared in the Atlanta Journal. Companion Wanted:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I am a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long
walks in the woods, riding in your pick-up truck, hunting,
camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights lying by
the fire. Candlelight dinners will ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
184 Votes
,9.26 Score
|
|
A friendly encounter 2/20/2004
I had this really good friend named Dave who also had a friend
named Rusty. Well, Rusty had this really knockout girlfriend
named
Candy. Dave is a real bullshitter and I didn't believe
half of the
wild stories he told, so I just ignored his comments about
how wild
Candy got when she got drunk. He told me how Rusty was the
type of
guy that only wanted it about once or twice a week and ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
67 Votes
,2.84 Score
|
|
REMEMBER TO TAKE IT OFF!!! 2/17/2004
My friend & I met these two guys from out of town, they
were only here for a short time building
a house.
We went to dinner, then to a local bar for drinks and dancing.
There wasn't a whole lot of dancing
going on, but there was groping under the table.
We drove back to their motel and my friend, with her date,
went upstairs. I stayed in the car
with my date for a while talking ...
1 Comments, 487 Views,
119 Votes
,7.09 Score
|
|
His and her road trips 2/17/2004
His & Hers Road Trips
HERS
1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window.
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.
4. Arrives at destination presently.
<br>
HIS
1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's
the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's
right.
3. Drives an extra five miles just in case.
4. Finally rolls ...
1 Comments, 170 Views,
43 Votes
,5.73 Score
|
|
oops my ass! 2/10/2004
so there I was with my girl in college. Lights out dormroom
all to ourselves. How did I know it was all to myself? my roommate
and I had a code if the sock was in the door, DO NOT ENTER. So
my girl and I were happily going at in and all of a sudden the
door pops open and this hot girl michele was standing there
staring. Of course my ass was up in the air from pounding
away and she just ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
56 Votes
,3.40 Score
|
|
a funny "nightmare" 1/27/2004
This happened a few years back, but I still laugh thinking
about it. One night, after several drinks, my husband and
I were having sex. Well, I must have been really, really
loud because the next thing we knew was that our
was at our door and about to open it. My husband jumped out
of the bed, which was funny in itself because it was dark
and he tripped over the cover, grabbed something to ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
37 Votes
,6.45 Score
|
|
RE: just sitting in the truck 1/12/2004
My wife left out a bunch of stuff! this is what happened.
we had been up for a day or two and it was in the middle of the
night and it was extremly hot so i was driving down the road
with just my shirt off. well we pulled into a truck stop i
put my shirt on not realizing i still had my seatbelt still
on. well i asked her to pick up some goodys from the store
i was going to go in to the ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
69 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Deep, hard question... 1/6/2004
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't
be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.
I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it
going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you
would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can
satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.
I am very desperate and I need your help. You ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
88 Votes
,7.89 Score
|
|
Whiskey Dick 12/31/2003
Guys: it's bad enough you're so fucking drunk
that you'll probably puke on yourself & you smell
like a vodka tonic, but what the fuck makes you think we want
to waste our time waiting to see if you can get your "flexi-dick"
in the hole?!!
0 Comments, 24 Views,
76 Votes
,7.36 Score
|
|
ever watch your guy bake a cake? 12/31/2003
I've been dating this guy for over a year... I have never
seen anyone bake a cake quite the way he did... I began to
smell the cake and since I have been cooking for some 30 or
more years LOL I can tell by the smell when something iz done
cooking... I told him to check the cake to make sure it waz
done. (I new it waz) he opened the door to the oven, and closed
it... saying the cake waz not ...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
54 Votes
,8.94 Score
|
|
we were setting in the truck 12/31/2003
my husband was setting in his truck so tired that he could
not stand up.we stoped at a truck stop.gene told me to go
get something up.he said he had to pee so when he went to get
out of the truck he still had his seatbelt on well he about
had a fit becoused he could not get out.i told him to unastened
his seatbelt then he could get out (hell it worked)now i
think he will think before he ...
0 Comments, 46 Views,
34 Votes
,0.72 Score
|
|
When your sex partner packs a wallop make sure that you can handle it before you actually see it. 12/26/2003
My second boyfriend and myself finally decided to get busy.
We were going to go the whole nine yards. Foreplay was excellent,
I came four times. My boyfriend was very spontaneous, He
licked and sucked every inch of my body. I went crazy everytime
his tongue and fingers touched my pussy. He was talented.
My nipples enjoyed his mouth.
<br>
Of course, we came to the part where I had ...
0 Comments, 54 Views,
83 Votes
,4.39 Score
|
|
3 types of sex in marriage 11/17/2003
When you are married, you have 3 types of sex.
<br>
Frist comes Kitchen Sex - you have sex everywhere. In the
kitchen, living room, anywhere BUT the bedroom.
<br>
Second, you have Bedroom Sex, since isn't bee a few
years and you might have , and the bedroom is the
only place you can have sex.
<br>
A few years after that, you start to have Hallway Sex. You ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
102 Votes
,7.63 Score
|
|
First Three Weeks 11/10/2003
Why is it that the first two or three weeks of a fling are the
best? Her tits are firmer, pussy tastes better, and there's
more energy in the sex? Do I just get bored or do other people
have that same problem?
0 Comments, 14 Views,
32 Votes
,4.46 Score
|
|
Confucious Says... 11/9/2003
A flirtatious man at a local gas station shared the following
with me:
Do you know what Confucious says? Confucious says that
does not exist.
Myself being witty responded, and why is that, because
you can't the willing?
No he stated, because women run faster with dress that is
up than men with pants that are down.
0 Comments, 60 Views,
37 Votes
,6.11 Score
|
|
Humour 10/26/2003
A sense of humour comes in very handy to help you through
those rough patches.
0 Comments, 34 Views,
88 Votes
,6.38 Score
|
|
Uner Pressure 10/24/2003
About 5 years ago on a hot September night, my girlfriend
at the time and I went out to the Claim Jumper for dinner.
If you have ever eaten there, you know they serve the largest
portions than just about anywhere. We had a couple of cocktails
before dinner and drank a bottle of wine while I stuffed
myself until I could hardly breathe.
When we got back home, we sat in the Jacuzzi and had a ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
100 Votes
,7.44 Score
|
|
Grandparents get it on! 10/23/2003
Grandma & Grandpa were sittin' & a rockin'on
the front porch while I was fixin' the window on the
side of the house, they didn't know I overheard them
talkin' dirty to each other, hell they're 90 yrs.
old!
Gramma said to gramps " Hey! FUCK YOU granpa"
and she just kept rockin'.
a little while later gramps says "Well ya know what,
FUCK YOU TOO Gramma" and they just kept rockin'.
After ...
0 Comments, 93 Views,
125 Votes
,8.63 Score
|
