Most of all, I guess, I cannot get enuff of the nasty grinnin', raunchy laffin' kinda fun that comes of the totally free interplay of two teasin', quick and witty minds and deep down hungry bodies, coaxing/urging/teasing both to ecstasy ..... a mouthful, I know, but abso what it is. I am a kind, generous, and funny dirty old man. My friends would say I'm quick witted and considerate, if I had any. I'm spontaneous and unabashed ...so much so that even my refuses to be seen in public with me. I'm an ardent and expert cook who watches "In the Kitchen w/ David" every Sun morning on QVC. Used to be "In the KItchen with Bob", but now it's David; poor Bob I think he drank too much judging by his big red nose. Also his apron was sometimes soiled and askew ....and not only that, but ...wait Rosanne Rosanna Danna's telling me "Enuff already w/ Bob" ...sooooo ...nevermind. I'm a VERY ORAL kinda guy....luv to find your special cunni place, same time finger in up around behind to tickle Mr G. Just cannot get enuff of cunnilingual slurpy joy! Love the look, smell, taste, and feel of pussy, AND it's hungry cock embrace. Nuttin' better than that smilin', paramount rapport that comes from hours of easy, cummin' fun.. 'S what grown up minds and bodies were meant for, by whatever playful gods that be. THE NASTY NIRVANA THAT STANDS TIME STILL! That special, high, ecstatic, altered plane of consciousness, laid back and eager both at once, can only be arrived at over time, as every tinglin nook and cranny pleads to be discovered. Pump and squirt just won't do. Physically, I have a body. It's 5'11" long, has a great ass , and ten toes near the ground. My cock is well trained and firmly attached to my body. .... I suspect my body's been cheating on me, tho, 'cause I often have out of body experiences only to find, upon my return, my body disheveled and smelling of telekinesis. That's the nutshell me. Love eatin pussy fuckin fun. But , if you need peripherals, here goes: Gotta piece of paper says I graduated from a great big university; own a house; got a income; like classic rock and smooth jazz the best; like inhaling with a drinky poo to boost the fun ; adore my computer(take it out to dinner and a movie once a week); keep current with world events and such(never fails to startle and amuse); got wide rangin knowledge and interests; can discuss most anythin in more than shallow depth; can figure out and fix most anything you got that's on the fritz; do cabinet makin on the side; like foolin with my digicam; play alot of online poker...win modestly; My schedule is my own; don't sleep much, up and revvin at all kinds of random hours. Oh, and I love animals .. lots more than people usually. Says it all about me that, if I find a spider in the house, I put it outside rather than kill it. After that it's on it's own and has to catch it's own damn flys. I will however, sometimes give it a going away present of a really sy weensy flyswatter. But enough about me. Tell me about YOU. Do you like cilantro, and are all your flyswatters full size?

My Ideal Person : Full figured, bright, daring, loves to laugh and grin. Lust deeply and beyond reason or measure for ample chest and hips. I adore big & bountiful, large and luscious, busty & bodacious. But what is more, your playful, deep down HUNGER for the best our minds and bodies can devise. Attached or no,any age, married or no, makes no difference atall so long as open to the long, sweet,high and hot rapport. No strings, but no onetime thrust and cream neither. Takes time to get to know and find the groove makes it better every time. Ya gotta love oral, both to each, torrid long and slow. Nasty nirvana !

Lust deeply and beyond reason or measure for ample chest and hips. I adore big & bountiful, large and luscious, busty & bodacious. If u r any of these, I'm easy ... actually, I'm easy anyway. And if u have & appreciate wit, and like to laff, Imma pushover.

Do you have an interest in current events, like to swear or cheer at ur tv when politicians speak, think u know it all comes to what's goin' on ... well then let's talk ... or fight.

But if you eschew all talk of politics and religion, that's ok too. Like I said, easy. Fine by me hangin' w/ some tunes, and mebbe a walk around the block when the setting sky is deep, deep blue.

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Stones,Van Morrison, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Beatles, eagles, csn&y, ella fitsgerald, sarah v

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
In a fine restaurant, very busy at dinnertime. I'm
seated next to a strange lady inna booth(fine res., strange
lady?, booth?-dunno, its a fantasy; have it anyway I want).

The salad course arrives, and she disposes of it quickly.
Then she discreetly hands me her still dressing wet fork
under the table. As I begin to wipe it clean on my trousers,
she deftly guides my hand with fork attached under and up
her dress to gently comb and smooth her incredible bush
with the dull tine tips.
The soup arrives, and the same thing happens. She puts the
soupspoon in my other hand and brings it up and under to gently
cup her clit with its tiny bowl. Needless to say, with both
hands occupied and me turned sideways, my soup goes unslurped.
She refuses my repeated requests to be spoonfed, and only
smiles and winks alot.
Her maincourse is lobster, and she uses the shell cracker
to quickly surround and stroke my dick under the table(somehow
my pants have disappeared). We now face each other, and
the passions build to a fever pitch of silverware frenzy.
I'm sure you know the feeling.
Just as I am about to explode dessert arrives, a tray of tiny
and exquisite pastries....served with tongs. We ask the
waiter to first preheat, and then leave the tongs with us.Ever
defferential to our slightest whim he obliges with a knowing
grin, the kindred spirit of silverware fetishists everywhere
apparent in his eyes.
She uses the tongs to deftly and softly squeeze and pinch
my balls while the lobster pliers move to and fro above.
The feeling of illicit pleasure overcomes us both; we shudder
and spasm orgasmicly as one. The sounds of fine silver clanking
can be heard even above our throaty moans.
Of course we've both been asked by the management never
to return, but the sheer eroticism was well worth it. To
this very day, the sight of fine silver gets me hard.

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Rimming, Mutual Masturbation, Also like to hide under the bedcovers 'til laundry
day

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Hmmmmmmmmm....Robin williams in Anna nicole Smith's
body. I'd have the best of both worlds. Robin talks
and Anna moans. Nasty nirvana.

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've done it so many times that I've forgotten how to type with two hands.

View more of dumboist's responses